Thursday, 26 September 2013

Oh BUGGER Bognor !

That’s what a British King exclaimed, when he was told by his doctors that they’d ship him back to the town by the English Channel for health reasons.

My first impressions seem to confirm his opinion of the town.  And it’s not the fog that is enshrouding me that is casting a shadow over this town.
A beach or a cemetery?
The long winding road here was filthy for at least the last 20 kms. There must have been a candy wrapper or Styrofoam container stuck in the grass or shrubbery at the roadside at least every 40 cms.  As in Langley, BC, people here love to throw black garbage bags (bin liners?) onto some unsuspecting greenery.  When I finally got to the promenade and stepped on the beach (pebbles) I was greeted by this view.  

Baltika?  Russian Beer?

My room wasn’t ready yet because the previous occupants checked out late (Yes, so?  Does that mean I get extra chocolates on my pillow? Can I check out late too?)  So I go to have some lunch at The Lobster Pot in Felpham.  After ordering Fish & Chips & a glass of white wine, the woman behind the counter has to repeat her sentence twice before I understand it “We don’t do alcohol”.  I swear the white wine in the glass-doored fridge behind her blushed and turned into a Rose when she said that. I just mumbled “Bugger Bognor” under my breath and paid for my F&C sans wine.   But hey, the Fish was one of the best Fish (as in Fish & Chips) that I’ve eaten in my life.
Would have been nice to wash it down with a bit of wine though ;-)  France, I miss you already !

The fog started to let though some more light but that just resulted in more garbage becoming visible. Cycling back to the town to get some booze to drown my sorrow, I stopped to take some pictures of these circus tents in the fog.

I definitely shouldn't have looked down after taking the picture.

Then I get back to the hotel.  I can't get the internet to work.  It's one of those hotels with extensions built on the extensions of extensions.  Consequently they have 7 Wifi Routers.  I consult the spec sheet in the Hotel manual, try the code, and it says "wrong access code".  The lovely but blonde receptionist says "Oh, it is DEFINITELY the right code".  For their 7 routers they only have two different codes.  After a while I just try THE OTHER code, and guess what !  Either someone changed the router code or they printed their hotel manual wrong and no-one ever noticed.
Then I try to make a phone call.  Don't even imagine that anyone at the reception could tell me what number combination I would have to dial to make an outside-the-country call.  I friggin feel like the ferry brought me to the 2nd world !  I've been in Buggered Bognor for 4 hours and I can't wait to leave !  

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