Back to the Grind ..... Marrakesh - Paris - Montreal - Vancouver

November 18.

It's Independence Day in Morocco today!

But my independence ends today.... it's time to fly back to where I left 9 weeks ago....and YES, I am DREADING it.
But then I'm also glad I'm getting out of Marrakesh.... it's too cold here and the loud shouters on the 5 am rain-wet streets don't really entice me to stay here.

6:30
A nice surprise.  I booked a single room initially but they gave me a twin room, which normally costs more.  I extended the twin room twice, but when I get the bill, I see that they charged me for a single room the whole time..  NICE ;-)

The Marrakesh airport website informs me that my plane has been rescheduled from 10:05 to 11:50.  ALL EasyJet flights seem to be delayed. 
 MERDE, this day does not start well ;-(

The processing at the airport takes FOR EVER....
A line-up to have my electronic boarding pass replaced by a paper one (WTF?)
A line-up to get to the line-up of the security scan

This is the line-up to get to the security line-up !

the line-up of the security scan
the line up for passport control.  And here is the bottle neck.  They check every line of the departure form against the passport for accuracy....  

Yes, the plane is late, so I theoretically have time to have another smoke in the airport's smoking lounge..... but I'm tired!

then:
line up to have the boarding pass checked at the gate, AND

line up OUTSIDE until they finally give us clearance to walk over to the plane..

3.5 hours later:
Charles de Gaulle airport always was complicated but now it has become an utter nightmare.  Fortunately the second Information person I ask is able to tell me HOW to get to my "Airport Hotel".  There is a TRAIN to Terminal 3.....

This places is ONE GIANT construction site..... HOW do I get to my hotel that I can SEE right behind that glass wall?

FINALLY, check-in a IBIS is a breeze ;-)  The cute youngin even asks me whether I want a SMOKING room (he must have smelled it on me!).

And 3 minutes walk from the hotel entrance is a Marks & Spencer (I'm in FRANCE, am I NOT?).  2 bottles of wine and some munchies will let the rest of this day go smoother ;-)

Did I really get a smoking room?  I don't see an ashtray and the walls aren't overly BROWN, so I double-check at reception.  OUI, I got a smoking room!   To be honest, I'd rather have a balcony to smoke on, but that's just not an option at CDG ;(

18:45

THIS JUST HAPPENED:  Probably the MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT of my LIFE!

I sleep-walked!   FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE.   In an airport hotel in Paris no less.

I had a nap.  I wake up.  I leave my hotel room in my underwear.  I pee in the stairwell (OMG, I'm not even blushing)..... Then I find myself in my underwear in the hallway in front of my room door without a key.    

WTF?  This MUST be a dream !

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ?

But it's NOT a dream!

I'm standing in my underwear in front of my hotel room door and I don't have a key and I'm waiting to wake up from a bad dream .....(AND I just fucking PEED in the stairwell!!!).  
I even KNOCK on my door hoping that I(!) will open it from the inside, LOL.

It's only AFTER I have gone down to the lobby, BAREFOOT and in my UNDERWEAR (there are line-ups at the reception counters), and cold-bloodedly give my name and my room number to get a new room key and after I'm back in my room, that I FULLY REALIZE that this was NOT a dream .....

I'm just glad that the receptionists handled this well and that most of the many people I encountered behaved as in a performance of "The Emperor's new clothes" ;-)
I am SPEECHLESS but GRINNING from ear to ear, LOL.

7:00
A good night's sleep without any further unintended walks into the hallway ;-)

9:50
It's time to GO !

I've been using online check-in a lot lately, but of course it doesn't work this time.  Even the self check-in kiosks at CDG won't issue me a boarding pass.  It's because one can't simply let a Permanent Resident of 30 years fly to Canada without checking his PR card .....   


Life during the last 9 weeks has been easy and uncomplicated.... but now I can feel the Pile of complications that is Canada when I'm still in France !



10:30
I remember the fabulous but UNHEATED Espace Fumeurs from when I flew through here with Zu in 2016 ;-)

Since I'll be back in the country of high prices and low flavour again soon, I spoil myself with a bottle of Sauvignon & a Tarte Provencale..... 

 It's also COLD in the terminal building..... my fingers start hurting when I type this.

I am surprisingly relaxed, given that I'm facing an 8 hour flight, then a 5 hour layover, and then another 6 hour flight....  only to arrive in Cold Vancouver at 10 pm....

10:50

BULLSHIT !

I take another look at my boarding pass and I realize that I'm approaching NANNY STATE again....

A boarding time of 10:45 for a 12:15 lift-off?  
You got to be kidding!  

Let the CATTLE assemble WAY TOO EARLY just to make it easy for the airline.... 




I've just fallen asleep in my seat even before take-off, when the stewardess wakes me and tells me to remove my headphones.... Welcome back to the Nanny State !

The Air Transat plane is FUCKING FREEZING.   I shell out CAD$ 9.99 for a cheap & too short blanket to keep frostbite at bay.....

Not really edible,  but I eat it to introduce some heat into my body .....

14:00 EST
OMG, there is SNOW outside the Montreal Terminal.   NO SMOKING signs are everywhere, and so are idling Diesel buses.   Yeah, that makes so much SENSE, you IGNANTS !

Sit down to have some food and a wine......... A small piece of Fritata & a 6 oz glass of mediocre white wine:   CAD$ 27.   LOL, now THAT is what I call Culture Shock!

NO, I'm NOT kidding.   No wonder I always want to leave this country as soon as I get here !  The 6 oz glass of wine costs more than I have paid for a BOTTLE during the last 9 weeks!
What is worse:  I had forgotten what bland food tastes like, LOL.

NO, I certainly don't like the idea of hanging out here for 5 hours.   But I paid CAD $600 for this flight and the next cheapest with a 2 hour layover in Rejkjavik would have cost CAD$ 1000 MORE.    So I'm appeasing myself with the thought that someone is paying me $200 per hour of waiting for my connecting flight ;-)

The Airport WiFi at Montreal airport is the worst I have encountered in weeks.    It disconnected every 2 or 3 minutes and one has to submit one's e-mail address to the advertising monsters again.   Back in the part of the world where nothing works and no-one seems to care that nothing works !

And of course, my CANADIAN cell phone is unable to give me a data connection in Montreal.  How PATHETIC is THAT?

15:45 EST.... 3.5 hours until I can sleep in the plane...
Time for another glass of white wine...... for $14.85 including tax. LOL

I've arrived back in Canada less than 2 hours ago..... and I would like nothing more than to hop into a plane to Vietnam instead of one to Vancouver !

16:15 EST
Only 3 hours until lift-off ;-)  I hope I can stay awake that long....  
Grandma is happy to hear from me and happy that I'm back (almost).

17:15 EST...... should I go through security, as the often repeated public announcement message urges me to do ?    Nope, I realize they try to lure me to their overpriced services & restaurants in the secure zone, but if they want me to spend my money there, they should have provided a smoking lounge ;-)

16:15 EST...... Just by hanging out at this airport for 4 hours, I've managed to accumulate $800 in savings .... not bad ;-)

18:15 EST
OOOPS, I did it again!
It seems to be impossible for me to return to the Gulag without having booked an escape ticket before the fact..... so I book my flight back to Vietnam while still sitting in Montreal ;-)  40 days in Vancouver will be MORE than enough!

19:15 EST.....
Another 6 hours in a tin can......... 

There is an immensely tall & constantly smiling MTF stewardess.....she radiates more happiness than the rest of the crew combined.... AND she knows how to turn her wide hips when walking down the aisle..... unlike the short chubby female stewardess, with the HUGE ass, who I just KNEW would be present on a flight with a Canadian airline and who rams that ass into my sleeping shoulder every time she passes and wakes me ;-(

Another indication that I'm flying with a Canadian airline: There is NO free food and they've run out of the Pay Food..... ah well.... 2 mini bottles of wine will work ;-)

Welcome to Canada !

5 mediocre days in Marrakesh....... the Disneyland feeling in Morocco

7:00
The worst sleep in a long time.... but the bed is so comfy.....  is it the traffic noise on that street below? (in that case I will NEVER EVER get sleep in Vancouver), that annoying ear-buzzing mosquito? (I looked it up; NO malaria in Morocco), or the work looming over today and over my mind?....

9:00

I'm down to ONE cigarette and I don't know where to buy more...... a bit of a problem....which will have to be dealt with SOON!    Hotel breakfast is served until 11, so that can wait ...

The receptionist said something about close to the gas station is where they sell smokes, so that's where I go..... a bank, another bank....oh, a Presse hut....and YES, they sell cigarettes.  3 packs of Winston change hands for 96 MAD..... that's less than I would pay for ONE pack in Canada.

9:20

Time for breakfast

The system is confusing..... NO menu, NO buffet..... just a bunch of brown-clad servers running around bringing things.....   forgot my camera in my room, I'll take pictures tomorrow...

What do they bring me?   1 bread roll, 1 pain au chocolate, 1 warm empanada-style thing with syrup on top, one freshly-squeezed orange juice, coffee, butter, laughing-cow cheese, and one hard-boiled egg.  And it all tastes AMAZING..... only it's too much and I can't finish it all..... take the pain au chocolate with me as a snack later ;-)

10:00
I have FINALLY figured out which way my balcony faces.  At first I think it is facing North, which means that sink laundry will NOT dry, which means I have to wear dirty undies..., but another look at Google Maps confirms that my balcony actually faces South...... I LIKE!
I LIKE so much that I renew the room for two extra nights ;-)  All those FANCY Riads in the Medina are FULL of Colours, but the rooms are small and there is NO LIGHT...... I remember the fancy one I stayed in during my visit to Sousse in Tunesia .....

Sousse, May 2017

.... and it was all VERY fancy, but nothing beats an East-, West-, or South-facing balcony !  So I'm not going to fall for the colourful but small abode temptation this time ....

Time to go for more provisions:  toe-nail clipper, shower gel for sink laundry, a corkscrew (I have long lost count how many I have bought and had to leave behind around this world because of stupid airport security, LOL), more wine ....

14:30
It's ALMOST Sunny out there.....

maybe I should do a quick exploratory run into the Medina TODAY before I finish my work, so that tomorrow I know the routine?

Bus # 1 leaves just around the 2 corners and it arrives at the bus stop one minute after me..... 4 MAD saves me 1.3 km of walking....  The bus stop is close to the minaret and I walk through the park with the tourist carriages ....

And THERE it is:  Jamaa el Fna..... Marrakesh's most well known tourist spot.

I start walking across and it doesn't take long until I'm in the unrelenting hands of the first vendor.... He puts the watch on my wrist and lowers his prices from 20 Euros to 5 Euros until he realizes I'm REALLY NOT going to buy it...... But we part with laughs on both sides.... which is the way it's supposed to be!

Then.... an invitation to enter this store or that store, to buy new Converse shoes (he saw the old ones on my feet),

..or to climb up to the roof terrace with a view over the whole madness (tomorrow!),

..and then there is the Monkey Man.......he has the monkey on his left arm, extends his right hand with "Bon Jour, mon ami", I try to be a polite tourist and before I know it the MONKEY is on my right arm which I can't pull back because he's still shaking my hand....... Well Done!

I'm on the out for today and I just want to record the sound of the Cobra Charmers from afar .......

.....Now I know why there are always 4 or 5 of them..... one with the snakes and the other guys spot the tourists with the cameras and put out their collection trays.....my 3 MAD are not enough.... the aggressive older man wants PAPER.... NO way, I give him another 4 MAD and walk away...   Too bad that this puts a damper on the otherwise enjoyable experience, but I guess they don't bring their Cobras there to wiggle for free...... Tomorrow I'll use the long camera lens to get a decent picture...

The bus is JUST leaving as I arrive and he opens the door.... and I'm back in my hotel by 15:45.
More than a little disheartened...... 
WHAT am I going to do in the Souks of the Medina if I do NOT want to buy anything and if I'm NOT interested in having a monkey on my arm?

20:00
Time to go out into the cold and get some good food again ;-)

It's Salade Nicoise again.... I don't feel like stuffing myself with a bigger meal..

On the way back I pay attention to the cars parked around the Club & the fancy Coffee place...... Range Rover, BMW, Mercedes, Maserati..... is there such a thing as the Moroccan Mob?



23:00
Just like yesterday.... the moment I'm about to fall asleep there is that mosquito's whining buzz right by my ear..... FUCK!

I end up going to sleep with the room lights on...... and that works!  Those little buggers only attack in the dark ;-)

8:00
This can NOT be!    It's fucking FOGGY in Africa !

10:30
The sun is out and I've finished watching Cloud Atlas for the second time... What a beautiful movie!  I'm glad I got to watch it with George the first time ;-)

I'm out of wine, so it's time for another run to Label'Vie....

I buy wine, toast, sliced cheese, and sliced cooked ham..... Only when I'm back in my hotel, do I realize that a I just bought PIG in a Muslim country ...

13:00
The translation is done but I'm BURNED OUT

18:00
WTF????  I've slept all afternoon!

 Time to run out to get more cigarettes

35 years ago we drove in one of these Renault R4 from Cologne to Barcelona, LOL
But this particular one here is even older!

 I reject the idea to visit Jemaa el Fnaa at dusk because I don't have my GPS phone with me.... 
and have another UNPLEASANT encounter with a tourist-trained Moroccan money making scheme.   

After shaking hands most friendly, the man's tone and demeanor change quickly to threatening when I refuse to pay him for taking a picture (or him taking my picture in front?) of this bicycle wheel sculpture.... In the end I just away.... unpleasant for both sides and it reminds me of some of the more aggressive people I encountered on one of my last Havana visits quite a few years ago (Regalo, regalo!).

  

20:00
Time to go eat again..... next week I won't be able to eat Moroccan food anymore, so I should use the opportunity while I have it!

I can't believe how much I have started to like these lentils, LOL.

And today I'm ordering a Tajine d'agneau avec riz basmati!

I need a good meal to digest the news I only got 5 minutes ago from Mother's guardian in Germany.

The Tajine is here.  

OMG, it is DIVINE !  But it's HUGE, it is one giant chunk of lamb covered by a thin layer of veggies.

That let's me forget mother for 20 minutes ;-).   Mother was returned to her old-age home by the police FOUR times during the last TWO weeks .... one of those times they were looking for her with a helicopter and search dogs .... and the last time she was found after she had slipped down an embankment...... 
that means CLOSED WARD for her .... and she'll never come out of it....  
NOT a nice thought.  Unfortunately there is nothing I can do.  
But WHAT will I tell Grandma?....

6:00
That's quite a fog out there..... I have to remind myself that I'm in Africa!

9:00
I have to reply to Mother's guardian.......  NOT easy.....

10:00
Buying more Dirham for Euros, I lose 7% in the exchange at the hotel reception.  But I need more MADs to finance my Grey Wine, LOL.  This time I buy 3 bottles at once.

Time to head into the MADness again....

Good thing I have my GPS with me..... 

 This is where I run into the first direction givers ;-(
"Don't go this way" they say.  Instead of just showing you the direction, they walk with you.  It's difficult to drop them......they know what they're doing... and the most bizarre....they get upset at the 1 Euro tip..... HOW MUCH are other tourists giving them?

 But the second pair of youths is worse.
"The photography museum is CLOSED!" he says "but there are tanners in town for just one day"

Tannery in Fes (not my picture)

He knows exactly what tourists want to see...... then he tells me he wants "no money and no honey" because he is not gay.....OK, whatever..... he keeps running in front of me until I stop him...  Pointing at my GPS map, I ask him, WHERE is the tannery.  He points somewhere TOO FAR away from where we are now.   And how do I know there is a tannery there?   So I tell him, I'm going back to the hotel.  Then he wants to sell me Hash.  I start laughing because this is getting just too silly.

 I'm glad I got rid of my 'guides' because of course, the Photography Museum is OPEN (bastard liars!).   Yes, most photographs were taken in the late 1800s or early 1900s, but it's nothing to write home about...

 except for a few pictures

but it has a fabulous roof-terrace cafe with a view....

Home now.   And don't look at anyone.   Sad that a few unpleasant experiences can ruin a city for me.

My feet are starting to HURT.   A restaurant with a 'garden terrace'.

While I'm eating, a group of middle-aged women show up.  LADEN with STUFF they just bought.... including untanned animal skins, fabrics, and GOD knows what else..... NOT me !

Too bad the food isn't up to par.   I like anchovies, but these ones are vinegary and they kill the taste of the salad ;-(

14:15
After 5 kms of walking, I'm finally back in my hotel room..... and it's STINKING hot because the sun is boiling on those south-facing curtains..... Good thing there is air-conditioning ;-)

19:00
SHITE, what is THAT ? .... MORE work?

Actually, it is supposed to rain tomorrow and I'm not overly keen for more run-ins with odd people in the Medina, so this will give me something to do.

5:30
Another sleep with the lights on..... but at least I didn't have hear that mosquito buzz for a single time ;-)

9:00
breakfast..

Re-provisioning..... salty pretzels, pistachios, cheese, WINE ;-)

I'm not missing much out there.... it's not raining, but not sunny or warm either ..... at least the distant mountains are visible today!

18:15
WOW, I sleep A LOT ;-)
Dusk is lighting the mountains and this Friday is almost done...

I am thinking about another Salade Nicoise but work keeps me in my room....

8:00
Enough work, time to finish watching The King's Speech for the second time. 

 Not only is it a great movie, but also one of the last ones that I watched together with George.  And the fact that it includes Beethoven's 7th Symphony (start at 14'30") doesn't hurt either.

14:15
It's sunny today, so it's time to go out there...I'm in Marrakesh after all ... Work can wait until the chilly night in Paris tomorrow....  

Stupid tourists !

 And there is the usual scam attempt :  the road is closed....I can guide you..... of course the road is NOT closed .... I should have stayed in Casablanca..... Marrakesh is just another Disneyland ;-(

 I finally find Bahia Palace (Google directions are WRONG), but I'm not going to pay 7 Euros entrance fee.......

A fat French woman (!) paying the bus fare with a 100 Dirham note! Crazy? Then, despite the fact that neither she nor her two co-riders know how much the bus actually costs,  they are insisting that she was short-changed, LOL.    
Stupid tourists are everywhere !  But at least this is the first of my four public transit rides where white people were on the bus....

19:30

My Salade Nicoise contains corn instead of olives today !?!   That's OK, I needed some healthy food.

By 8 pm I'm dead tired.....  maybe because all the excitement just left my life like the air rushes out of a punctured balloon.... 

Tomorrow I'm flying to Paris and the day after that I'm flying to Vancouver..... 

MERDE !

But then I've been on the road for 9 weeks, more than 2 months, and that ain't bad either ;-)  But in retrospect I wish that I had spent all of it in Vietnam !