Thursday, 8 October 2015

I'm leaving Las Vegas (eh, Vancouver )

Thank you Sheryl Crow for writing and singing that epiphanous song about leaving a hell-hole behind.  I  hum it every time I am at Vancouver airport.  This time is no different:

Gorgeous Native carving seen from the bus. Wish I had had more time to look at them!

The change of the public transit buses to a 1 zone price sounds good. I get a 1 Zone transfer in North Vancouver and to my amazement find Compass machines at Granville Skytrain station. The Skytrain will be a 2 zone ride to the airport. But the machines don't have any add-fare function for bus tickets. And the old machines are out of order.  So I have to buy a 2 zone Compass ticket and instead of paying $4 from the hotel to the airport, I am now paying $5.25, even though the bus got cheaper.

WTF?  Only in Vancouver !

Not much luggage for 2 weeks  of Asia ;-)
On the Skytrain I finally figure out why my small backpack, which constitutes my entire luggage, feels suspiciously empty.  I forgot to pack shorts.  Ooops. Temperatures in Hong Kong will hover around 28 degrees Celsius. I know I can buy shorts in Hong Kong, but I'm slightly appalled  to see that are no trousers for sale at Vancouver airport, be they short or long, just gazillions of T-shirts and iCrap. 

Glad I'm leaving Vancouver!

Air Canada takes customer service to a new level by insisting that EVERYONE use those bloody computer check-in machines.  The old days were so much more humane and civil.  After I'm not entirely happy with the seat the computer gives me (it insists it is the LAST free seat on the plane), I am informed at the luggage drop-off counter (I don't have any luggage) that this is indeed true, that EVERYONE else used early check-in from home and that as a result I have an emergency exit seat with ample leg room that they usually charge extra for.  So there: refusing to mindlessly submit to technology sometimes has its benefits ;-) Luddites Rule !!!

But my enthusiasm is quickly quenched by a half-hour wait for my food in an almost empty White Spot restaurant.  Another thing I notice White Sport waitresses don't ask "How is your food?" but query "Are you OK here?".  After you try the food at YVR's White Spot you'll understand why they do that ;-)
For Cuisine's sake, there are enough people in Vancouver who cook East Indian cuisine, just find one of them and have them tell you what is wrong with your Chicken Tikka !!!

But the Best In Management award this time has to go to the retards that are responsible for the security check.  Normally the line starts behind that green sign in the very very left distance.

This time it starts not in the food court, not by the big green fabulous canoe sculpture, but somewhere in the middle of the international flights check-in corridor.  OMFG!

Highly mentionable is the guy walking along the line with a boarding pass scanner.  I've seen one of these guys before. Their role is to fish the people out of the line that would miss their flight if they stayed in the line.  But what is new and astonishing is that he skips the 4 obviously Asian passengers in front of me.  His thinking is obviously that they're going to Hong Kong and that they have enough time. He scans my boarding pass and leaves me in the line.  I hope that none of the Asians in front of me weren't hoping to fly somewhere else and missed their flight because of some well-meaning but only half-thinking airport employee!

When the glacier of people finally makes it to the gates (after which it will be a 15 minute wait to the security check), where the line normally starts and where everyone not flying hugs the loved ones flying, another over-eager airport employee SHOUTS "Keep going, keep the line flowing!"  When I point out to him, that those he is trying to hurry up would just get stuck again where I am and that the real problem is behind those gates in the security check, he tries to make excuses that the people in the back are starting to block ‘important’ airport areas.  Like store entrances? But at least he doesn't repeat his cattle-herding call while I'm in earshot ;-) Get a grip YVR !  

Oh, and while I stand in this loong line, I notice that there actually is a store selling pants at YVR: Brooks Brothers. I stand corrected.

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