the way 'home' .... UIH-SGN-TPE-YVR ....expulsion from Paradise

8:45 Au Lac Hotel

Saying that the staff speaks English would be lying ;-)  Good thing I have my phone's Google translator.  
They call me a "taxi" & manage to negotiate me a special price of 315,000 VND instead of the meter price.  The driver is young, his car stalls every time he tries to drive away from a stop, and he is utterly surprised by the toll booth along the National Route AH1 (30k VND).  He has to ask someone for directions to the airport (he is shouting Anh, OI! out the passenger window while driving) and then is surprised again by the demand for money to enter the airport (10k).  I don't want him to lose money on this trip, so I just pay him the meter price at the airport, which this time only came to 388,000 VND.  US$ 17 for a 45 minute taxi ride ain't that outrageous.


I get my boarding pass and when I'm in the line-up for the boarding pass check ahead of the security check, ALL noise CEASES.  The noise of the boarding pass checking machine, the noise of the fans, the hum of the X-ray machines, the GOT-YOU chirp of the triggered metal detectors. the noise of the conveyor belt conveying your checked-in luggage to god knows where.  Viet people in uniforms start looking at each other. 

Total power failure at Phu Cat Airport, LOL

Fortunately it only lasts 5 minutes.

I take the 109 bus.  4 times the price, 1/4 of the seats, almost 1/2 of the travel time because it takes a different route than the 152 bus.  

I read the news.   Not only do I read that Facebook & Google in 2016 got 77% of the online advertising money but somewhere hidden in the depth of the news I also read that Bayer & Monsanto are merging. WTF?   That should be a BIG news item.   Corporate Global is creating the scourge of the 3rd world and no one is to know?  SHAME !

My Mackerel place across the street from my chosen eating spot of Bun Cha 145 is EMPTY.  But Bun Cha 145 has a hand written sign on the door.   "Because of sudden family issue, we close at 7 pm today", it says.  There are 10 people in the line up in front of me. It is 20 minutes to 7.    It would be impolite to try to eat there now so I walk over to the mackerel place.

A remark about the social tact of tourists: at 5 minutes to 7, there is STILL a line-up at the Bun Cha place

I'm done eating.  It is 10 minutes after 7 pm.  People are still lining up at the Bun Cha place and the owner, obeying the Viet rule of trying to be a perfect host, does NOT shut the place, despite the sign he put up, and despite the fact that his guests are IGNANT SWINE instead of perfect guests.

Not the first time I'm ashamed when watching the behaviour of tourists.

Time to head back to the hotel.   I chat with the receptionist about this and that.  She tells me her friend tells her all the time that she is a sadist. NO SHIT, LOL
The fruity receptionist walks in again.   He gives me his Diva look, first tucks my shirt, then flicks my butt with his finger, and to top it all off grabs something nonexistent from in front of my right nonexistent shirt pocket.  "I steal your heart" he exclaims with a triumphant tone.  

Where else but in Sai Gon ?  ;-)

March 30.

Good Friday.     I have to fly to YVR today !  What's GOOD about that ?

I get some pictures from P&M. 

P&M in Ha Noi

They just arrived back in Luebeck from Hanoi.

That's just NOT RIGHT, LOL.
That does NOT make me want to fly today.

Neither does THIS, LOL

On another note:   How many children are dying of starvation or war on this planet every day?   You can bet that it's magnitudes higher than the worst case scenario of the number being killed by a crashing space station.  Let's stay REAL!

But what makes me abhor today's departure most, is THIS:

TOO much has changed and is changing in Sai Gon, but SOMEHOW the Viet spirit seems to be resisting the Western influence. OK, at least the old people see no need for it.  I guess I just dated myself again ;-)

 Yes, OK, so I went to Co.opmart to buy another bottle of wine.  Get over it ;-)

An OLD lady walking with her upper body held almost horizontally is selling lottery tickets.  She is surprised when I don't want a lottery ticket for my Dong bill.  Am I destroying what I love?  (In retrospect from one year later.... now I always take the lottery ticket ;-)

9:00
I'll be checking out in 4 hours.  Have I packed?  NOPE.   I'm like a little child wrapping its arms around a table leg to prevent from being dragged out of the room.  

11:00
I get an e-mail from Huyen, my abusive receptionist.   And I realize how much I have changed in my now 2.5 years of traveling to Vietnam.  What happened to that shy and stuck-up German of those days.   Has some old-age wisdom finally kicked in?  Or is the Viet culture rubbing off?  It doesn't matter.  Life is better.  And I'll miss her abusive banter efforts at friendships.   So much actually that I'll look her up next time I'm in Vietnam (OK, so that's only 2 weeks from today ;-).

It's this kind of thing that makes today's flight to Canada bearable. Knowing that I'll be back HOME soon !  And by SOON I mean in TWO WEEKS !!!!


12:30
OH NO.  It's REAL.  I'm LEAVING ;-(

#152

There are line-ups for boarding passes, immigration & security.   The metal detector gates at security are flashing RED, which means they are NOT working.  THAT is the reason why everyone gets the pat-down after passing through them.

Star Cafe at Tan Son Nhat Airport has a nice logo but serves atrocious Sushi.  But I can't blame the staff.  These Viet kids work hard and they're doing it with a smile.

I'm at my gate 10 minutes before the scheduled boarding time.  I don't even want to smoke anymore; I just want to get this long time in a metal tube over with. 

TIRED

I'm not even tempted anymore by all the beautiful offerings in the various stores along the way to the gate.  What's the point of bringing STUFF home?  It doesn't replace actually BEING here ;-(

 Still no staff at the boarding gate.  But I might as well reset my watch to Taipei time.

20:30 Taiwan Time

Oh, what a nightmarish flight. Screaming kids, awkward legroom, annoying gaming seat neighbours, lack of a pillow ruining my neck. 

I've made it to Taipei, and already had my first cigarette in one of their FOUR smoking lounges (EAT THAT YVR ;-).   Credit card purchases here require NEITHER a pin entry nor a signature for a scone & a small Starducks coffee.  

Still 2 hours to wait and then another 12 hours in a hurtling metal tube.

21:45
The need for sleep is getting to me.  About 20 minutes until boarding.  I have an aisle seat, so I hope I get some decent zzzs !

23:02 or 8:02 PST
3 minutes before the scheduled boarding time, we are informed that boarding now won't start until 23:30.   

Sleeping or dozing maybe half of the only 10.5 hour flight helps.  I don't even have time to finish watching The Shape of Water (China Airlines has good movies ;-).

I am aware that I'm carrying 17 packs of cigarettes, 7 too many to be legal.  As a compromise, I leave 2 packs of Winston in my seat pouch for the plane cleaners, bringing my booty down to 15.

NO problems with immigration; NO inspection at customs.  My cigarette offering worked.

Peeing at Vancouver airport is DISGUSTING.

NO, these are NOT the urinals at YVR.... but this is that it feels like!

Little rivers of piss running towards the center of the room from every urinal.  The toilets on the plane I was just on were MUCH cleaner.  
But then they were cleaned at least every 30 minutes by stewardesses!

Taking the SkyTrain is easy, but when I check the bus schedule at West Georgia, I see that the next bus is not due for another 20 minutes.  WOW, I'm back in the boonies !  I've been waiting long enough today, so I hail the next available taxi to bring me to my abode.

22:00 PST, Noon SaiGon time (I've been traveling for 24 hours !)
Dirty toilets and a lack of buses are not the only signs that I'm back.   I right away notice the atrociously slow upload speed in my hotel WiFi, LOL, a Canadian trademark !   Then I hear the sirens again!   How did I manage one whole month without the constant annoyance of emergency vehicle sirens???

I'm back in Hell!