Bien Hoa.....Saturday and Sunday and FUCKING Phap DRAMA ...... I DUMP him

 0:45

Try to sleep without feeling too sad.....

1:30

the first thing I notice is the EMPTY bed next to me..... then I get SAD....not about me, but about him ...because he will be one of those husbands who will constantly be bitched at by his wife.....and he doesn't know how to resist.

sleep

6:00

coffee, wine

The Viets walk up and down the street in this smog for exercise..... one woman in fancy white jogging clothes walks circles through the hotel front yard..... and then she even dares look up to me and give me her most seductive smile.....YUK....

6:30

The woman is still walking circles in the yard..

6:45

time for a nap

7:00

I want some sushi for breakfast.....of course I spill the soy sauce again...not much left.... I head down to the breakfast area with a cup and ask for 'xi dau'.... there usually is an easy solution ;-)

8:00

Eda doesn't answer the phone

Chantal doesn't answer the phone

Nothing from Joanna

Eda texts

We talk.... she is COLD in her basement....

doze to wear off the alcohol

9:45

Start walking to LotteMart.....Filthy air....so much traffic....

LotteMart is a NIGHTMARE..... the Viets have discovered consumerism....and like everything they do, they go overboard....

10:45

I talk to Joanna

12:05

I start fuming again and my eyes turn red

12:47

There he is....

Fun....I get my protein...not in the mouth this time...then he turns weird again

17:00

I go to pick up sushi

17:15

When I come back, he has his clothes on..... "Phap ve"   Tai sao?  "Bo me Phap".... I just shrug my shoulders ....  this is not going to work .....

20:15

I'm fuming at Phap already.....then I try to book my flight from Saigon to Phnom Penh....and the transaction is declined..... I have to call Canada to make sure it's not the stupid Canadian Credit card again..... on hold forever..... but the guy says that there is no flag on my account.....it never ends....

20:45

Nothing from Phap.....fucking IDIOT.....

21:00

"I am tired of waiting for you"

21:15

"this is the last time I'm alone in a hotel room waiting for you. I should have learned in Tuy Hoa"

FUCK THIS SHIT !

I manage to pay for the SGN-PNH ticket.....it wasn't my Credit Card after all......

21:30

He will NEVER learn.... even though he is happy with me, he is too afraid of his parents.....time to let go.....

21:45

I send "NO respect" and I block him...

nap

I wake up again at 22:30 and unblock him again and delete most of the earlier posts

sleep

4:00

my head is spinning ..... I get drunk....and pass out at 6:00

7:15ish.... I wake up because the bed is moving .... in the next 4 hours I get off twice, he doesn't, we sleep more, holding hands all the time, and we don't speak...but the sex is amazing, but even during the sex I can't help thinking "This is Good Bye sex"....... until at 11:15 he says "Phap ve".

BIZARRE ..... maybe that was the last time I saw him.... and by now I'm not even sure what I would do with him if I could have him.....travel would be the only option, because domestic life with him would be hell.....

11:20

Time to do my Duolingo...

Am I going insane......then it occurs to me.....I worry about what other people will do to me instead of concentrating what I will do....  but it's hard to get older, living alone, and the world getting more complicated every day .....

12:15

Looking for hotels in Phnom Penh, trying to estimate how long to stay there.... I don't think I'll be back in Bien Hoa in two weeks..... gut feeling says things are NOT improving..... the hugging and kissing and loving part is.....but the enough-time and communication thing is driving me INSANE.

nap

13:30

shower shave

14:00

might as well go and deal with it .....

I take a Grab motorbike that is sitting at the corner..... not sure whether he wanted 2k or 20k but he gets 20k

As expected the mall is a zoo of teenagers in the newest fashions....but at least there is no lineup at the cashier....I buy the LAST 4 bottles of Dalat Classic and walk home

14:45

The internet keeps fucking up.....and then Netflix asks for a password..... and the old one no longer works..... OH WHAT THE FUCK

I email Denise to get the new one.....

13:15

oh screw it.....I order Netflix.... 260k /month... let's hope it doesn't fuck up my credit card !

watch some Netflix

nap

18:08

OK....here we go again....he's late....and maybe he won't show up again.....sick of it....

18:30

there is the message I knew was coming ..... "sorry. my life is complicated. I can't come to the hotel this evening"

I reply in three long THREE long messages...... "yeah, my life is complicated too. but I always make time for you because you are #1.... I obviously am not #1, so I will not try to meet you again... have a lucky life".

He is the ONE.....but he is still Mr. Anderson and I don't have the time to wait for NEO to show up.....and he needs a shot across the bow (fuck me for still having hope)...... I didn't block him this time but I need some time away from him.

19:30

tears in my eyes.... but I can't go on like this..... no matter how cuddly he is..... but I don't know how to deal with it...... 

good thing I'm meeting Toan on Tuesday.... someone who actually TALKS......

19:45

another message "I love you and I hope you don't understand how much you HURT me"

20:00

enough is enough....two days in a row "I will come back later"....and then he doesn't..... no more bullshit !

a final message to him "Han is very angry and sad.  Maybe Maybe I will contact you in one month" and then I BLOCK him on Zalo.

He is lucky...... George got a one year suspension .... and YES, I will miss him SO MUCH...but stupid kids need to learn...ideally quickly....

22:00

I block his phone number as well.....he still has my email but he won't remember his Gmail password....

ah well.....

another message "You not coming back yesterday and today was not that important...but you NOT telling the truth yesterday and today really upset me"...... SO THERE....that's what's important !

try to pass out

Phnom Penh ... No Pong Li .. Harmony ... Big Hands.... Hideout.... Vin Gris .... Gym.. Harmony Hell....

 4:30

shit....TOO early..... the usual waves of Angst ......Phap, skin cancer, PR card, etc etc

a glass of wine soothes the panic

nap

6:30

I'm a bit tipsy by 7:00, so I go upstairs for hotel breakfast ....

It's packed.....and the Westerners are behaving like pigs .... (what do you expect?)

A couple loaded their plates with everything, leaves half the food on the plates, (no stacking of plates obviously) and then moves to the window with their coffee cups.....and leaves them there too .... I feel so sorry for the Khmer employees.....such disrespect from those FAT stupid RICH white assholes....

8:00

should I try Eda again?

I do .....bad mistake....she has lost it..... asks me whether Phap is in Cambodia with me ....has she been listening to anything I've been saying for the last 6 months ?!??

That leaves me a little depressed .....

9:45

Head out through the amazing wet market to the Smile store...... 2 more bottles of Rose ... and some cookies ;-)

10:45

nap ...sleep off the buzz

11:30

sink laundry and shower.....

12:15

The Harmony receptionist remembers my first name again when I buy the gym ticket.....

12:18

No Pong Li in sight....

2 women servers....but none of them brings me a menu ....and I'm CRAVING a chicken Caesar ......

13:00

a 2nd gym round..... and I ask the waitresses.... it's Pong Li's day off ......whew....

13:30

a 3rd gym round

Toan asks for a gift from Cambodia..... oh fuck off ....

There is this unbelievably FAT COW floating in the swimming pool....taking up the swimming lane .... what is WRONG with people....

Who cares... I go for a swim (not a FLOAT).....

13:45

Walk back to my hotel.....another TukTuk driver asks me whether I need a ride (I think he knows me by now) I point at the Ohana stairs and ask "how much?"   he motions as if he wants to carry me and says 1 Dollar....we both laugh happily ;-)

pressure relief

a nice message from Phap .... he likes to be hugged by me..... soon ;-)

16:00

Walk to the store again .... I give a dollar to an OLD man who is too shy too beg..... 2 minutes later, I see a maybe 40 year old guy who got both his hands blown off..... all he has left are two stumps..... no, I don't give him any money but I curse the injustice of existence.....especially after I see all those FANCY cars parked in front of the two hotels..... and I realize I should have taken a cheaper hotel room and given the $100 difference to him..... wouldn't have made a big difference to me, after all .....  SHIT..... I STILL have SO MUCH to learn .....

16:45

18:00

The rooftop.....the Salad Nicoise is actually really good.....

20:00

exhausted.....need to sleep....

sleep

5:00

A nasty Grandma dream.....  reoccurring themes..... she bitches at everything....and leaves me to deal with the problems....

5:30

might as well get up.....

6:30

HORNY and pressure relief

nap

7:30

8:15

breakfast (a small one)

depressed doze and drink ....

9:15

Eda doesn't answer the phone ....

10:00

2 hours until check-out....

I finally do my crunches..... 

10:15

The Hong Hai receptionist finally accepted the Zalo friend request .... 2 weeks too late, but better late than never.

Harmony emails.....they will try to accommodate my early check-in request....

12:00

I KNEW that checking in would be a pain..... even though all the suites were empty..... at least the receptionist clandestinely offers me a 13:00 check in ...... up to the 11th floor..... order wine and Chicken Caesar 

a bit of Gym...and right away the receptionist asks me for my gym coupon..... annoying...

Boring Chicken Caesar..... not as good as the Salad Nicoise across the street..... might have to have that later......

12:50

And there is Pong Li with his smiling eyes..... this time he only asks whether he can remove the empty plate.....

13:00

The receptionist did not lie..... I get my room key 707 ..... comfy....much more so than Ohana.....but was it worth the money ?

14:15

Joanna video calls in a swim suit from a beach in the Phlips...... 

14:40

Buy wine & cookies & jam....

15:00

comfy room, indeed ...... too easy to be too lazy here ....

15:15

nap

16:00

let's do the bank machine.....

take out US$600 ....easier than in VietNam !

16:20

WHAT THE FUCK?!?

This is the time when the monks start chanting..... the same as the church bells in SaiGon... and I have NEVER EVER been able to figure out WHY it is 4:20 am and 4:20 pm.......  

I call Bobby..... doesn't sound like he will leave my money with Lisa tomorrow....

17:00

Another quick burst of activity in the gym upstairs.

After buying masks and hand disinfectant I walk over to Little Hanoi Restaurant......it doesn't exist..... Google Maps is WRONG again.... I'm used to that by now.....

On the way back I decide to check out The Hideaway....... I find The address....I ask the people in the Mexican restaurant on the ground floor......oh....different place....take the elevator to floor 3 and enter through door 310.....WHAT?.....anyhoo, I take the elevator to floor 3....and I kid you not.... the small space outside the elevator is surrounded by 6 doors with numbers on them....none of them ajar but one has a symbol on it....I pull and I see stairs leading up.....this must be the one....

two restaurant floors and no customers.... I wouldn't be here, if I hadn't spotted this place from the roof of Ohana !

I head to the second floor.....AMAZING view..... Caesar salad & G&T...... shaved cheese instead of mozzarella..... freshly cooked TENDER chicken.... a 30-something waiter that keeps hovering close by.... too bad no one can find this place.....

short naps..... comfy bed.... sweating on the pillows again.....wtf?!?

sleep

6:15

New waves of Angst (about Canada) makes me get up...... it is WINDY outside .... not ideal for my already old watery eyes ... 

6:45

I get an email from Booking.com .... Harmony reported me a No-Show .....WTF !?!???

8:15

Let's check out the breakfast on the 12th floor...... it's NOT a buffet .... I get a cup of LOUSY drip coffee and an American breakfast with 1 (ONE) slice of toast for $8.80...... NEVER again !

9:00

I tell the poor reception girl to fix the no-show affair..... I should have been nicer.....but then maybe they will learn not to do it again to someone else....

9:30

call Eda....

nap

11:15

OK.....time to go shopping.....

12:00

Already noon..... I just got back with 2 bottles of Sauv Blanc, a carton of smokes, etc etc.....

screw it..... time to head to the gym.....

Chicken Caesar.....

12:50

And there is Pong Li.....looking cuter every single time......

13:30

2 gym rounds....one swim....tipsy....time to go....even though Pong Li asks me whether I want another wine......oh no....I'd be making comments about his hands again.....but maybe I should ;-)

nap

14:45

time to go to Smile store #3 to buy more Rose.....  On the way I discover Smile store #4 .....no Rose....

and Karma strikes again...... on the way to Smile #3, I see a store....'Big C'.....wine bottles inside....Cinsault Grenache.....that same desert reddish colour..... and this one says on the label 'Vin Gris du Maroc'..... I fucking knew it...... I had this stuff before.....years ago in Morocco....and I loved it..... I thought that I'd never have it again unless I return to Morocco...... now I find it in friggin Cambodia ...LOL..

I buy 3 bottles...... they are ONLY $5 per bottle

I try them at home....divine..... I call Julian to tell him the story.....he loves it....

nap

17:30

oh....might as well....I walk back to the store to buy the remaining 3 bottles ;-)

19:00

Let's have another Salad Nicoise..... not as good this time.....it's missing Tuna..... but for $9.80 for a big salad and a glass of wine.... no complaints

20:00

Back in my room.... a bit down because nothing from Phap.....

nap

20:30

Joanna is flipping out at her sister because of the vaping.....

sleep

5:00

a little more Angst (Canada) makes me get up...... half a bottle of Vin Gris fixes it .....

nap

8:00

FUCKING Canadians.....  BC Hydro sent an email stating that they'll replace a power pole in front of my house..... and they say that the power will be out from Feb 22 to Feb 6....... IMBECILES...

8:10

call Eda.....  she's mumbling again and I can barely hear her.....frustrating....

10:00

tipsy and tired

11:15

time to get my ass in motion.....

teeth, crunches, ....I submit a 'customer request' on the BC Hydro web page......response time 7 to 8 business days ..... laughable ......

12:30

Showered and dressed I enter the 11th floor.....

Pad Thai.....not very good..... I'm losing confidence in their food here !

13:30

I've sent $300 to Jessica .... as thank you and also I need someone to check the mail in the coming weeks/months

I'm tired and worn out.....but starting to plan the tax season.... and the red envelope to J was the first step of that..... I need someone to look at the mail..... and right now Eda is too busy for that :-(

swim

14:15

time to go..... Pong Li is busy sweeping....

15:00

nap

16:00

The phone rings..... Do you want your room made up?  I get snippy.... No....that's why I have a sign on my door that says Do NOT disturb..... Do you want new towels? ....If I wanted new towels I would take the sign away.....

I go downstairs to pick up my Viet visa printout....... THEY tell me that this hotel has a RULE that the room has to be cleaned every 2 days....... I appease my favourite receptionist by telling her that I will take fresh towels today.....

I come back up and there are THREE people looking into my room....the young 'middle management' woman actually tells me my bed does not look good....

I get my garbage emptied and new towels..... and I will NEVER EVER stay here again ;-)

Joanna in the Philippines can't even believe it when I tell her.....

17:00

18:45

I feel like I could use some FOOD..... How about Velkommen Guest House..... I order a G&T and a chicken burger..... I get a can of Tonic Water and a beef burger..... ah well....it's been a while since I had red meat....maybe about time again...... I make sure to chew well.....

19:15

The fuckers CANCELLED my booking at Harmony..... I was SO looking forward to leaving a REVIEW....but now I can't..... ah well....

19:30

I pay my bill...... a good cheese burger with fries AND a Bombay Sapphire G&T....$9.50 ....can NOT complain !

Nothing from Phap or The Monkey ....

Sleep with neck pain again.....probably because of Gym....

sleep

5:30

coffee makes the neck pain go away.....

more naps

8:30

Holy shit.....I must have needed sleep !

Another one of those Phap messages..."Soon meet again. I'm looking forward to meeting you again."

better than nothing but WTF?!?

nap nap nap

12:00

WTF?

Joanna calls.....issues with her sister....

shower

12:30

up on the 11th floor....

mini gym

chicken caesar 

13:00

there is Pong again....

13:15

I ask Pong Li if he wants to give me his email address.... and ask him for another glass of wine.....still have to do gym and swim.....  by now I have learned..... life passes by the timid.....

mini gym...

I am tired.....and my eyes are really watery old today..... wtf....welcome to old age.....

13:30

swim

pay the bill..... talk to Pong a tiny bit....he works until 11 pm...

Smile Store.....an extra bottle of wine.....cookies, chicken cold cut, yogurt, cookies...

17:00

talk to Julian for an hour (FUN)

18:45

Drunk and full..... talk to The Monkey for a bit

19:00

NOT hungry enough to go out and eat.....

I think I'll just pass out in my room today....

21:00

pass out drunk