.... FINALLY the flight is over....
On my FOURTH circumnavigation of the planet THIS YEAR, I seem to develop fear of flying...... every time the plane falls into the tiniest air hole I envision myself as a victim of a fiery crash....
The 152 bus is already there when I get out of the domestic terminal building so it is time to run.... I'm glad to see it's full!
Bun Cha 145 is CLOSED when I try to get my fix..... but they're supposed to reopen at 17:00... A bottle of white wine and some peanuts acquired at my local hole in the wall should do the trick until then....
Oh, right..... the Title of this post..... it's in Vietnamese.....
Here is the translation:
A crazy German man in Saigon.
I arrive at the hotel....
There is a new receptionist..... she picks up the phone to call an experienced receptionist....
OH NO, it is Huyen! While I'm busy covering my nipples against her vicious pinching, she grabs my bottle of wine and my passport.
Predictably, when I reach for the bottle, she PINCHES me and then runs away with my wine and passport...... Co ay la phu nu DIEN! But I have to admit she's good at what she does, lOl.
Any attempts to get my bottle back are futile.... she enjoys begging men too much..... I rob her of that pleasure by just leaving the bottle and my passport with her (toi khong muon di!). I just walk back to the store and buy another bottle; it's NOT as if I would only drink ONE bottle in the next two days, LOL.
 |
| Of course, I don't miss out on my victory and take this picture and e-mail it to Huyen |
This place will NEVER have an elevator..... Again I'm climbing the stairs to the 5th floor.....and I'm BACK over the roofs of Saigon ;-)
14:30
Another visit to Huyen.... still no wine... but she writes something with ballpoint into my hand...
Ba noi toi la be de ......
At first I think it means Ba says that I am a be de....
I walk to Coopmart and it NEVER hurts to check out the clothes section..... I find a another copy of my favourite lavender shirt .... and it's ON SALE ... less than $10.
And they have the cheap corkscrews again ;-)
Back at the hotel I type Huyen's mystery sentence into Google Translate and my screen displays:
"My Grandmother is dying".
HOLY F***!
17:30
More Huyen Vietnamese lessons...
"Toi la be de"..... I know it means "I am a fruit" but make her happy anyway by repeating it ;-)
She is busy working, so I go for Bun Chan by myself.
Oooh Yeaaah. I have MISSED this flavour explosion ;-)
Another Huyen language lesson .... but I forget already .... I'm too tired!
3:00
Grandma is in bed..... this is where she seems to spend most of her time now.... not so great, but .....
6:00
8:15
Wow, that is the latest I have ever left my room......I'm disappointed to see Chuong isn't in the lobby..... Phuong invites me for breakfast.. but I've had their breakfast once and that was enough... I turn in the direction AWAY from the tourist center....... 2 blocks and I find what I want...
Mot banh mi cha lua ! As usual, they ask the wimpy foreigner whether he REALLY wants ALL the ingredients in there.... Mais OUI !
9:11
I'm going to the Canary Islands without a functioning decent camera...... NOT
There are camera stores close to my hotel...... is it time to spend some money?
11:45
A brief wake-up visit to Huyen (nothing wakes me up like rubbing up against an Abrasive ;-), I follow my cell phone GPS track through the NARROW alleys ....
Where am I going?
To the Camera Store !
$215 exchange hands and I'm the proud new owner of a SONY WX350.
I've owned one before, one of the many cameras that died their slow deaths being dragged around sandy pockets on beaches and bicycle saddle bags along bumpy roads, so I know what it can do.
Yes, on the way back I stop at the street food stand that I noticed in the Hohle Gasse. Huyen always asks me for FOOD when I visit her (to be honest, she could do with LESS), so I'm getting her a portion of Com voi Rau voi Muc....they even throw a banana into the bag !
Of course, when I show up with the food, Huyen refuses to eat it and I'm eating together with the slightly confused and shyly embarrassed MONO-lingual hotel staff in the kitchen.
So I'm way too full for the time of day at 13:00 ;-( LAST time I'm bringing her food !
16:00
The new camera is fully charged ;-)
17:00
Another visit to Huyen...... "Toi la be de.....Toi thich dit" .... Good thing not many Vietnamese read this blog ;-), then buying provisions for Here & There ....
the face of the woman in the hole-in-the-wall store lights up when she sees me ....
18:30
Huyen is still busy working, so I head to Bun Cha by myself.
The place is supposed to close at 20:00 but at 19:45 there are still people waiting outside. I'm sitting at a table next to 2 LOUD-speaking German people, who finished their food ages ago but keep occupying the table and keep chatting LOUDLY.
That's OK in an expensive restaurant but it is NOT OK in a $2 per meal restaurant with all tables occupied if people are waiting outside.
Some people's kids!
Back at GS 1, Huyen pipes up "WHERE is my FOOD?" I don't think I've met ANY SINGLE woman who was more destined to the role of DOMINATRIX than her in my ENTIRE LIFE ! THAT doesn't do anything for me... but she has a good heart.....
OK, so she gets me to fetch her some sua chua & banh.... and even calls me in my room later to tell me that she is STILL HUNGRY .... KHONG! ngay mai gap lai !
NO, it's not a Gordon-Gekkoesque view over Central Park, but I love this view over Saigon.....
Another cigarette in my underwear on the patio at 7:00...... the back of the patio chair almost BURNS my back when I lean into it.....and the sun warms my skin..... I am SO going to MISS THIS ...!
7:00
Down to the lobby.... NO Chuong ;-(
But Phuong is there..... I rent my room until 4:30 pm for half rate and tip her "for the staff". Then the Bad News: She tells me that she will not be here when I come back.... NO, NOT another hotel...... She will live with her husband outside of Saigon..... and SHE thanks ME for being nice and tells me she will miss me....... OH NO GIRL, you got it the wrong way around!....This hotel WITHOUT Phuong?..... unthinkable.... I tell her that she will have lots of children and will be MUCH happier than in the hotel.... AND that it was HER who was responsible for me feeling like coming HOME every time I came back here....
Change is GOOD, they say..... but sometimes it hurts.
7:15
I'm walking the streets to hunt down a yummy Banh Mi......on the way I see The West in action again:
A Vietnamese woman of about 40 pushes a pram with a small baby/kid through the streets.
The proportions of the kid are definitely OFF, the legs are WAY TOO thick.... there is something REALLY wrong with that kid.
She stops at a popular Western breakfast spot, PACKED with WELL-nourished white folks who take their delight in the warm temperatures and the dirt-cheap yummy food........
They all see the woman and the kid asking for money .......
WHAT is it about people in the days of Trump...?
It has become a SPORT, this coming up with justifications or better said excuses for NOT giving any help to those seeking it.....
and EVEN IF your aid ends up in the pockets of a few bad apples once in a while....
it still won't bankrupt you.....
Needless to say..... NO ONE can even spare a single Dong.....
FUCKERS! ....
I hate The West !
I give her the last 4 US Dollars I have left....
I find a Banh Mi (above average baguette with below average filling) for 10k and head back to my hole-in-the-wall wine store ;-).
An old man is guarding the content today and he has NO IDEA how much that bottle should go for.
"Hom qua toi da mua point-at-bottle mot tham va muoi" I hear myself saying. (Yesterday I did buy point-at-bottle 110k)......HOLY FUCK, I SPEAK tieng Viet, LOL. He even understands it and nods!
8:15
Wow, that is the latest I have ever left my room......I'm disappointed to see Chuong isn't in the lobby..... Phuong invites me for breakfast.. but I've had their breakfast once and that was enough... I turn in the direction AWAY from the tourist center....... 2 blocks and I find what I want...
Mot banh mi cha lua ! As usual, they ask the wimpy foreigner whether he REALLY wants ALL the ingredients in there.... Mais OUI !
9:11
I'm going to the Canary Islands without a functioning decent camera...... NOT
There are camera stores close to my hotel...... is it time to spend some money?
A brief wake-up visit to Huyen (nothing wakes me up like rubbing up against an Abrasive ;-), I follow my cell phone GPS track through the NARROW alleys ....
Where am I going?
To the Camera Store !
Yes, on the way back I stop at the street food stand that I noticed in the Hohle Gasse. Huyen always asks me for FOOD when I visit her (to be honest, she could do with LESS), so I'm getting her a portion of Com voi Rau voi Muc....they even throw a banana into the bag !
Of course, when I show up with the food, Huyen refuses to eat it and I'm eating together with the slightly confused and shyly embarrassed MONO-lingual hotel staff in the kitchen.
So I'm way too full for the time of day at 13:00 ;-( LAST time I'm bringing her food !
16:00
The new camera is fully charged ;-)
I'm not too happy with the colour and brightness rendition ....
....but it's better than a cell phone ;-)
Another visit to Huyen...... "Toi la be de.....Toi thich dit" .... Good thing not many Vietnamese read this blog ;-), then buying provisions for Here & There ....
the face of the woman in the hole-in-the-wall store lights up when she sees me ....
18:30
Huyen is still busy working, so I head to Bun Cha by myself.
 |
| HEAVEN in a bowl ! |
Some people's kids!
Back at GS 1, Huyen pipes up "WHERE is my FOOD?" I don't think I've met ANY SINGLE woman who was more destined to the role of DOMINATRIX than her in my ENTIRE LIFE ! THAT doesn't do anything for me... but she has a good heart.....
OK, so she gets me to fetch her some sua chua & banh.... and even calls me in my room later to tell me that she is STILL HUNGRY .... KHONG! ngay mai gap lai !
It is SO WORTH It getting up early and to catch this view ;-)
NO, it's not a Gordon-Gekkoesque view over Central Park, but I love this view over Saigon.....
Another cigarette in my underwear on the patio at 7:00...... the back of the patio chair almost BURNS my back when I lean into it.....and the sun warms my skin..... I am SO going to MISS THIS ...!
7:00
Down to the lobby.... NO Chuong ;-(
But Phuong is there..... I rent my room until 4:30 pm for half rate and tip her "for the staff". Then the Bad News: She tells me that she will not be here when I come back.... NO, NOT another hotel...... She will live with her husband outside of Saigon..... and SHE thanks ME for being nice and tells me she will miss me....... OH NO GIRL, you got it the wrong way around!....This hotel WITHOUT Phuong?..... unthinkable.... I tell her that she will have lots of children and will be MUCH happier than in the hotel.... AND that it was HER who was responsible for me feeling like coming HOME every time I came back here....
Change is GOOD, they say..... but sometimes it hurts.
7:15
I'm walking the streets to hunt down a yummy Banh Mi......on the way I see The West in action again:
A Vietnamese woman of about 40 pushes a pram with a small baby/kid through the streets.
The proportions of the kid are definitely OFF, the legs are WAY TOO thick.... there is something REALLY wrong with that kid.
She stops at a popular Western breakfast spot, PACKED with WELL-nourished white folks who take their delight in the warm temperatures and the dirt-cheap yummy food........
They all see the woman and the kid asking for money .......
WHAT is it about people in the days of Trump...?
It has become a SPORT, this coming up with justifications or better said excuses for NOT giving any help to those seeking it..... and EVEN IF your aid ends up in the pockets of a few bad apples once in a while....
it still won't bankrupt you.....
Needless to say..... NO ONE can even spare a single Dong.....
FUCKERS! ....
I hate The West !
I give her the last 4 US Dollars I have left....
I find a Banh Mi (above average baguette with below average filling) for 10k and head back to my hole-in-the-wall wine store ;-).
An old man is guarding the content today and he has NO IDEA how much that bottle should go for.
"Hom qua toi da mua point-at-bottle mot tham va muoi" I hear myself saying. (Yesterday I did buy point-at-bottle 110k)......HOLY FUCK, I SPEAK tieng Viet, LOL. He even understands it and nods!
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