Dire Days ..... merry fucking Christmas ....

 4:00

try as I might, I can not sleep

then the Monkey wants to change the pipe on my water pump....NO !!!!

4:15

I might as well do it now..... I call Lifelabs...someone actually answers the phone at this hour.... she emails me my Testing Report.... NEGATIVE

4:30

Where did that native cedar-wood box go?   Together with the missing wrist-watches I'm getting wary....especially since someone moved/took the safe combination paper and it looks like someone moved the stuff in front of the safe......  I check the stuff in the living room... all little boxes and containers that contained the Native stuff..... EMPTY... just still sitting there.....

4:45

I bite the bullet .... into the ice-cold (literally) garage with a space heater, a flashlight, and my reading lamp....good thing the safe combination was their old German telephone number....and I still remember it.... I get the safe open on the second try... a moment of fear, but no, there is the cedar box....I must have put it in there before I left....knowing not to trust ditzy Grandma.....  but where the hell is her last will and testament.... good thing the house is already in my name ....

5:30

Vietnam closed its borders in March 2020....just after I came back from Phnom Penh...more than 1.5 years ago....

and I should stop despairing... in all my decisions, Karma always seemed to have been on my side....

But this house IS depressing....

a

TIRED....

emails to Lisa & Phap.....

6:15

shit....the flight cost me $850 and not $650 as I thought ....but that's still way cheaper than the $3000 it would have cost me a week earlier.... Karma again ;-)

Eda replies.... friendly but not loving as usual.... and I can feel my mood dropping already.... I need LOVE but very few people seem to be able to give it ... or maybe I'm just not loveable?

7:15

I simply can not sleep ....too many things to do....

I open another bottle of wine (the coming shortage is adding to my panic) and have a coffee.... 

lots of flight cancellations in the world because of Omicron

it will be -11 C in Vancouver tomorrow night.... how the fuck am I going to get food and booze?

instead of being productive (still haven't taken a shower after the flight), I keep clicking around the internet looking for good news....

8:15

I finally fall asleep

10:00

First step of today's agenda.....call the car people...... she remembers me and chats on the phone with me for quite a while... and says "Chris, we always have a car for you".

Shower put on long pants and shoes and a hoodie and Grandpa's fur jacket... call a taxi

The Cabbie is NOT wearing a mask and the ride down to Lo-Cost costs me $17....what a fucked up country...

Joana & husband are such nice people... we talk for 15 minutes.... I get a Yaris....first time I drive a car in 2 years !!!! $1500 per month... better than taking a taxi  and cheap compared to what Grandma costs.

Liquor store next door... might as well buy a case of Viognier ;-)

The Persian store changed owners...it's a GREAT store now.... and the guy at the cashier first talks to me in Farsi (my tanned olive skin?), is GORGEOUS and chatty... unfortunately he forgets to pack my jam...or maybe it's in the car?

Back home, Nooria has left and Disha, a very pleasant young woman from India is giving care to Grandma.... she is chatty and not shy....

12:45 Elizabeth & some hot young Brazilian guy show up....bring cookies for grandma ..

.. I get right to the point...she needs to go into a home... Elizabeth will help ! ;-)

14:00

Chantal calls..... a good conversation about her being a hoarder and unhappy mother and about me possibly haven fallen for a trickster and hustler

15:00

A Phap email.....  "Wish Merry Christmas.  Happy. Peace".... I can not help noticing that he doesn't include my name.... Chantal's probably right...

Screw it.... Karma will settle it and I have a job to do... actually many jobs !

16:00

I can't stand anymore and go lie down.... my phone chirping wakes me at 16:45....It's Bill, Elizabeth's husband.... I will meet him on Sunday at 11 in Park Royal.....

nap again

18:15...still tired.... I have a coffee & a disgusting chocolate pudding with cherries

Then I find Grandma's bank statements... Her account really had that little in it.... 

tired

I sleep for an hour....

Agnes shows up....nice and chatty....

Yes, stuff was taken.... my silver rabbit baby rattle is gone too....

21:00

I can't help it...."it is most peaceful next to Phap", I write.... if he's really just a stupid whore, might as well make him feel a little guilty.....   oooh....nasty me.... now I feel guilty....

I talk to Agnes...she's nice

Rummaging around the basement back room, I rip part of my big toenail off... I ask Agnes as an RN whether my plan of self-bandaging makes sense....and yeah, I got it right.....

Annie, Thanh/VH, Dong/QN, and Zu all sent me happy birthday messages today.... WTF?

22:45

sleep

1:00

I wake up hungry.... one cherry Eggo and one cheese/caper baguette....yummy....

back to sleep

3:00

awake again

How do I get a booster shot?..... check booster shot BC......oh, I can register to get vaccinated online...

Then it occurs to me ..... since it is all computerized, they will not know about my 2 previous shots.... and think someone at my age has NOT been vaccinated..... I should be almost 1st in line ...

Look up Power of Attorney..... it doesn't have to be notarized for money issues, only for selling property. But even a notarized one won't allow me to make healthcare decisions for her.

And 50% of people still don't wear masks.... and there are no hand sanitizers at credit card machines.  They will never learn.

nap

4:45

awake again..... another coffee, eat some manicotti.   Iwona emailed me with birthday wishes...

...WTF is going on ?!?

emails from Joanna/Paris & The Monkey....

5:45

Having a smoke on the balcony, I notice that grandma's curtains are drawn for the first time ever.... it takes me a while to realize that she is getting washed..... during the next smoke I think I faintly hear her annoying screams.... and it hits me .... there are NO noises here, except the creek.... no roosters, no cicadas, no frogs, no dogs, no nothing...and nothing is moving .... none of those divine flocks of white herons, no fishermen in their coracles, no dogs humping at the beach, no villagers pulling the endless net out of the ocean..... nothing.... it's DEAD here....

I start moving all the tax stuff in the downstairs middle room.... and I notice that my Native Converse hightops are not there.... WTF!....

7:00

tired again.....

NOPE

7:30

I start shoveling snow...

. with a shovel whose handle is way to short, so I have to bend down low...they make women's shovels now?

8:30

I call Ingo and we chat happily for 30 mins... better than last time....

9:00

LOL.... I knew it.... the computer system at BC Health thinks I'm unvaccinated, so I got bumped to the front of the line and I'll get my 3rd dose on Dec. 30.

9:10

What to do now?... I feel lonely.... so I eat and drink....

10:00

The call to Hans is a bit disappointing....

10:30

time to have a nap, I think....

OMG, I slept well a lot

14:00

Jessica emailed back....she's not visiting....phony?!?

Grandma is screaming at the caretakers in that nasty way of hers

nap

18:00

Manicotti with salsa..... I'm going to get fat so fast :-(

The keyboard on the laptop stops working..... thankfully a reboot helps.... panic...

18:45

The computer updated and they managed to fuck up the image-editing program..... congrats retards ! (again)

Grandma shit her diapers and won't allow Maryam to change them and even screams at her. I tell her it's not lady-like and that does the trick.

I'm paralyzed with depression....just want to go back to sleep.....

nap

20:30

Phap zaloed..... Have a happy day..... he doesn't clue in about the time difference?

21:00

talk to Disha for a bit.... she has to commute to Surrey by public transit....OMFG....

22:30

tired....but I try to stay awake so I won't be up at 2 am again...

22:45

Disha's asking whether the fireplace has a switch gives me an idea.....yes, the downstairs one has a switch... I turn it on and after a few tries am able to ignite the pilot light..

. and then the fireplace....YEAH !

sleep

1:00

I microwave and wolf down a cabbage roll

2:00

OMG, Freedom Mobile charges $0.75 per minute for calls to Vietnam....

Good thing for Zalo ;-)

The shit finally hits the fan.... SGN-NRT-YVR ..... Dire Days: The nightmare begins

 3:30

LOVING emails from Phap....he can be SO AMAZING.....

Why do the church bells ring at 4:20?

5:30

I'm shaved and showered and pretty much ready to go.....

and that thought is back.....WTF am I doing?.... am I crazy?....leaving everything I truly love behind, just to deal with money issues?

6:05 

I leave by taxi

empty airport

Covid times airport crowds ;-)

it's relaxing strolling through an empty airport 

7:50

Oh, thank you for the 2nd boarding pass..

.. I can stretch out...

I love Japan Airlines ;-)

a

In Tokyo it takes me a while to realize that this is NOT morning sun,

but that the sun is setting at 16:00...and it's COLD, even inside the airport....I regret not wearing proper clothes, but at least they have smoking lounges.....

.. tres civilized ;-)

running around...

.. only one restaurant seems to be open.....

a

need money first

Another 4 seater bench just for me

YVR is the usual bother.... an unfriendly border guard, waiting forever for the luggage, and COVID TESTING, just because I said truthfully that I came from Viet Nam....

a taxi to North Van

Along South Granville street, I tell the cabbie to pull into a side street so I can pee at a hedge (my usual YVR arrival routine of smoking first and peeing afterwards doesn't work because they refuse re-entry into the terminal building)  

The East Indian cab driver giggles....

Not a single person walking on Granville is wearing masks

 

I get to the house..... someone opens the door after I ring

Grandma got OLD ....but is very happy to see her Grandson....

The house is an absolute mess.... the care nurses just show up, more or less do their job.....but don't take care of anything else.

I call Freedom mobile to get the phone internet working.....I try to get Zalo installed and can't do it....

20:15

A desperate thought of hope.....I could get Grandma moved to a home and return to Phap....who just maybe really doesn't love me ... what a fucking mess....

Problems solved today:  

I have a little bit of internet

23:00

it's fucking snowing

23:30

My phone chimes.....it's roaming

it comes back a little later... and Phap zaloed.....

I'm sitting in an overheated house (by Canadian standards) and my fingers are ICICLES....

My phone is roaming again....The Monkey tried calling.... and I can't call back ...actually I can.... he answers.....he hasn't visited Iwona yet....and Chau didn't give him the money....  but then he forgot what he was calling about and is too shy to say...

2:30 am

I've opened most of the pile of mail.... 

And there are some of Grandma's account statements

another success..... I got my Gmail accounts running on the Vancouver phone and my contacts have updated.

2:45 am

Grandma is wailing in bed.....Maryam, the Persian caretaker says that this is normal.... she asks Granny "what do you want".... Grandma says "I want all in the world" and she means "Everything"

 Welcome back to Canada :-(

Saigon 8..... The FINAL day.....More rollercoasting ...and a hopefully short-term Good-Bye

 5:30

feeling hungover... a quick look at the phone....an email.... from Phap....oh oh....

I knew it..... says he wants to meet me, but tired from work and afraid of traffic police....he won't come today  Xin loi Han yeu...

I knew it

I reply that he should take a taxi and that I'd pay for it..... he probably will come up with another excuse.

6:30

Nope.... He says he will leave at 8:00....that should get him here by 9ish

7:00

I email Elizabeth

7:30

I call Chau.... bring the speakers back and add 1 trieu for Tam ....the food in the fridge belongs to Tam.... do you have my perfume bottle?..... My house is NOT a store.   I can tell by his voice that he is NOT happy, but better to nib this the butt right now, otherwise I won't have a bed or a fridge when I come back.

7:45

The Monkey replies to my email....he only wants the speakers...."I don't need Money.  Chau is not a rich man".....what a cutie.....

I tell him that Chau borrowed enough money to give 1 trieu to The Monkey

Not sure what he is shaking his head at.....that I asked Chau or that I lent money to Chau....

8:20

drop off laundry.....

time for a nap before Phap arrives.....

nap

9:20

No Phap

an email exchange with The Monkey....he does have a good character ... doesn't want the 1 trieu.... not my problem anymore.....

10:15

Still no news from or sight of Phap..... he is hopeless and my gut feeling was right....

I go out and find Family Mart....they have the 1-1 coffee and ham and wasabi and the good bread.... at least SOME good news today...

11:00

nothing from Phap.... I give up and the dark dusk of depression descends

then there is a possible knock on my door at 11:30.... and he's in front of the door...

cuddles, nuzzles, "I love you" "me too"....

14:00

A Grab motorcycle ride to the doctor to pick up my certificate ....Negative....  I LOVE cruising through Saigon on the back of a motorcycle...The trip to the doctor, waiting for 5 minutes, and the return trip is supposed to cost 17,000VND..... 1.00CAD......I ask the driver (who looks like 60) how old he is....he is 40.....rough life.... he drops me in front of the hotel and I give him 100k..."cho gia dinh"....he gets big eyes and insists on shaking my hand...... Phap is napping in the room....

I fall asleep on Phap twice.... I love his snoring.... lots of nuzzling and little kisses ....

15:45

He has to go.... it's almost heartbreaking....but we both say "Dung buon!"   and "I love you" and "Han se luon luon tim thay Phap".....

I talk to The Monkey...... and I thank him for being a GOOD FRIEND.... he's one of the very few sane people in that village...

16:30

Fish & Chips....

A street vendor wants 20k for the storm lighter that costs 5k in Phu Yen.... I tell her what I think of that...and buy a lighter for 5k at the usual store...

I forgot the laundry....back out into the street.... it's dry but not folded yet.....but she folds it right away....she seemed a bit stand-offish when I arrived 8 days ago....but now we are chatting in a friendly way....

17:45

Back in the room.... need to pack, should shave tonight to save time tomorrow morning, Iwona will call later... and then that will be it....the temporary end to friggin more than two years of BLISS....

17:55

A quick email to Phap..... LOVE YOU...

19:00

A great phone call with Iwona....her Finnish guy seems to be even worse in the communication department than Phap....

19:45

More issues with Chau....he returned the computer speakers and my perfume....but not the 1 trieu for The Monkey .....WTF !?!!

22:00

Can't sleep....too excited.... another 2 Phap emails.... his usual understatement... but at least a sad emoji...

I prepare tomorrow morning's email.... Don't be sad and don't be afraid....I hope we will be happy after I kill the problems in Canada

I love you

Saigon 6-7.... Pain & Misery .... and then HE'S BACK..

 5:30

OMG, I miss him so much.....but maybe last night's email will help to KILL contact with him.  Not that I want that.....but as long as I am in contact with him, I will always hope.... I want to cry.

6:30

3 more days and hopefully I won't be in the same country as him anymore....

7:00

Nhat zaloed me a video.....my garden is GONE...

.. everything died yesterday ...my love didn't die...but that nice cuddly feeling that someone cares.... and 2 years of garden work..... 

I am crying....and YES, I actually do send Phap an email.. "I miss you so much"...because I MISS that nice feeling of someone giving a shit about me...

8:30

I call the Canadian Consulate..... I get a computer system with options.... and no-one to talk to.... I leave my name, telephone number, and nature of my inquiry and I hope they will call me back.

10:30

The Canadian Consulate calls back..... again a Vietnamese woman.... and she is NICE and actually very helpful.... she will send me the info by email.

11:30

I've managed to call HCMC Family Medical Clinic (the Asian woman on the phone does NOT speak Vietnamese ;-).... she zaloes me the link for registration, I fill everything out, and I call back to get an appointment for tomorrow morning at 8:00.

nap

12:30

I should get some food.....

Fish & Chips....Solo this time :-(

Iwona calls... talking about Tin.... Tin has no empathy....I think she's right....

13:30

Back in the hotel room...... 

watch Lupin......

15:20

start walking..... check out where the clinic is.....

I make it in 30 minutes....the time Google predicted...not bad with a recently broken foot and diminished leg muscles.

Having a smoke on a garden retaining wall, a security guard actually walks up to me and tells me not to smoke..... poor Vietnam....

I take a taxi back....45k

16:05

back in the hotel....

Mathias emailed me?  OMG.... with pictures.....

16:25

Working on a final Phap email.....OMG...it's breaking my heart..... as if it wasn't in splinters already....

17:00

I call Iwona ....she cheers me up....

17:45

I try calling The Monkey.... no answer...

18:00

I send that email to Phap....

Han không biết làm thế nào để sống nếu không có Phap....bởi vì đôi khi Pháp đã làm cho Han rất rất hạnh phúc...cam on .....

và Han đã hy vọng sẽ dành phần đời còn lại của tôi với Phap boi vi Hân yêu nước Pháp hơn bất cứ ai khác mà tôi đã yêu trong đời

Nhưng nếu thật sự Pháp không còn thích Han nữa thì Han phải chấp nhận thôi  

Han chúc Phap một cuộc sống hạnh phúc .... và Han sẽ gửi email cho Phap khi Han trở lại Việt Nam

I talk to the Monkey

 

18:25

there is an email....

Where is Han?.. Phap is outside the hotel. No, Phap has always loved Han. And yesterday when the Phap drank a lot of wine, Someone used Phap's phone to text Han. Phap

WHAT THE FUCK?

I run downstairs and there he is..... 

and everything is perfect again....

sleep

 

I sleep so well... at all times one of my hands or feet are touching his body

sleep

 

6:15

The alarm clock goes off

time to shit and shower and go get my PCR test.... Phap wants to sleep, which is fine

Walking is harder today than yesterday.... but I make it in time... a very busy place.... good thing I was a bit early..... the test is done outside.... I expect the LOOOONG thing to be stuck down my nose and throat.... but no....she uses a longish Q-tip to swipe my nostrils and my tongue.... and that's it....EASY !

more cuddles with Phap.....

he leaves at 9:15 after failing 2 times to get off....always makes me sad.....

a day of errands

I talk to Bobby for quite a while.... that old cynic is always cheering me up ....

around 12 I get hungry..... but I buy a belt first..... high tech thing, LOL.... then fish & chips

16:30

Iwona calls......she is a good friend and I will miss her.....

buy wine and cigs.... 

nap

 

talk to The Monkey.... Chau really cleaned out my house....

computer speakers, something in the bathroom (my Gaultier perfume), the sausages, wine..... what a greedy little fucker..... but watch out..... what goes around comes around....

 

watch Lupin (it's addictive)

 

and then it's 18:30 already

 

Time for the sushi restaurant..... but a change of food today....

19:30

An email to Phap

I finish watching Lupin

22:00

a Phap email:   sleep well, dear Han

23:00

I can't sleep because I'm MAD at fucking Chau for cleaning out my place.....little rat... I will call him tomorrow....