Being held captive in Ha Noi and a night train towards that sweet southern weather ...

I actually sleep until 4 am, which is surprising given all the naps I had yesterday.

My walks through Hanoi yesterday felt different than those on the previous two trips. I can't quite put my finger on it but suspect that it's that Hanoi looks a little like Europe at Christmas. No, NOT the mad present shopping, but people walking the streets in thick jackets and long pants. It feels like winter despite the 16 degree temperatures.  There is also not much I haven't seen in Hanoi, so I decided it is time to head SOUTH today.  The weather forecasts for Da Nang and Phnom Penh beckon with 26 and 34 degrees, respectively, and that is one of the reasons I came here after all ;-)

The Mystery Destination

At 5:45 am I am not quite sure where to go or when to go, but then I set my mind on Mystery Destination (I've never been there, but the pictures look VERY promising). I briefly consider spending the 12 hours travel time in a day train, but quickly abandon the idea.  The time in night trains passes much quicker !  So that leaves with me the issue of a train departure time of 10 pm and a hotel check out time of noon.  I feel like  I'm too old to wing it for 10 hours walking around, especially if hotel rooms in the neighbourhood go for as little as CAD$ 15  (That's about US$1 per hour of not having to walk the streets. Quite reasonable I believe.  We'll see.

At 5:50 I take the elevator down to the lobby to catch the sunrise over Hoan Kiem Lake.  When I checked in yesterday, I offered to have my 3 or 4 am cigarettes on my balcony, but was told to smoke outside, even after I pointed out that people might be sleeping in the lobby.  A quick glance through the opening elevator doors into the lobby to my amusement confirms my suspicions: The lights are off, occupied bedding material is visible right next to the elevator doors as is the bicycle look through the front door handles.

View from my prison later in daylight (it even has bars ;-)

 I don't even leave the elevator but quickly press my floor and the door-close button again. I'll give them another half an hour of sleepy time ;-)  Another decision I quickly regret (NO good deed  goes unpunished ;-). I step onto my tiny balcony on the 4th floor,  pull the doors closed behind me, and smoke my cigarette. When I try to step back into my room I notice to my amazement that the old-style lock-bolt must have moved just a millimeter, because the balcony door now is LOCKED.  OH NOOOOOO!  I'm TRAPPED on a small pedestal 4 floors above street level.  Good thing this didn't happen at 4 am because I notice someone far below and 2 doors down the street moving scooters from the entrance into the street. After a quick HELLO! and him looking all around him but not seeing me, a sequential UP HERE,  he sees me and after some explanation knocks on the door of my hotel and informs them of their CAPTIVE GUEST. 

Enter at your own risk ;-)

 15 minutes later (It seems  like an hour) the receptionist in his bare feet frees my from my tiny outside prison.  It seems I had put the security latch on my room door by habit and they had to open the room door first. 

I later see that their tools for that included a screw driver and a TOOTH BRUSH!  At least they knew how to do it instead of calling a locksmith ;-) CAM ON !!!!! 
With a grin I have to remember that the receptionist told me to lock the balcony door when I sleep or when I GO OUT, but I'm sure he meant something entirely different.








After recovering from my captivity, I decide to go on my morning walk and at 6:40 am shocked that the hotel staff has gone back to sleep and that I have to wake them AGAIN to unlock the bike lock on the front door ;-(

Huan Kiem Lake in the morning

Don't take this bus. It leads to Boo Hoo !

This is the first time I walk all the way around Huan Kiem Lake and my mood quickly brightens when I see the Vietnamese busy with their morning exercises, either with stomach crunches, Tai Chi, playing Volleyball with feather cocks, or whatever else they have come up with.  

To my surprise I also get drawn into a group shot of a couple of middle aged Asians in front of this old architecture. By their looks I seem to have made them happy to have me in the shot ;-)

I get back to my hotel in a grand mood and am relieved that the staff has finally risen.  Breakfast is served and is wolfed down, even though I have to admit eating a piece of chocolate cake at the lake 35 minutes ago.

the sidewalks have parking attendants that ensure maximum space usage

Time to head to the train station.  A phone with Google Maps and GPS comes in VERY handy in navigating Ha Noi's convoluted street network.  I find Ga Ha Noi without problems and buy myself a train ticket.

All the soft sleeper spaces are gone so yours truly will travel in a HARD SLEEPER for the first time.  I've seen the HARD SEATS (wooden planks) and wonder whether I will sleep at all tonight.   At first I  also suspect that I've  paid tourist prices, i.e. way too much, but I check when I'm back in the hotel and have Wifi and discover that I paid about half as much as quoted on the very popular Vietnam-Railway.com website. Caveat Emptor (Buyer  beware), this site charges DOUBLE !   

Back at the hotel I get myself a room until 9 pm and leave the substantial change to the guy who rescued me this morning.  It's too cold in Ha Noi to spend the 10 hours between check out and departure time wandering around, especially at my age !!!!  When I change rooms the new room still has more than 6 suitcases (HEAVY ones in it).  The  Viet kid has visible trouble lifting them. I ask how many people they belong to because I'm not sure that this room isn't the luggage deposit for the entire hotel. When he says that they belong to only 2 people I can't help but exclaim CRAZY, to which he just smiles and nods.  I gave the huge tip to the right  person ;-)  This kid (somewhere between 20 and 30 years old) sleeps in the hotel lobby at night and works during the day and these 6 suitcases contain more clothes than his whole extended family possess and possibly more than they have possessed in the last 10 years!

Noon approaches and I've been up for 8 hours, which includes a period of captivity. Definitely time for a nap.

When I awake the lights are out.   Sending the reception kid on a quick errand to the fuse box on my floor puts a quick fix to that.  I go out with Hoan Kiem as the general destination to buy some T-shirts but already after half a block am drawn into a store along the way.  They have T-shirts, yes, but they also have HOODIES.  In outrageous patterns! The price is high for Vietnam but LOW for Canada, so I end up leaving the store with one. Good thing the sales clerk helped me to decide which one looks best on me (just confirming my opinion was enough), other wise I might have bought two!

Instantly I notice that when you wear something that you obviously bought in Vietnam, all the shoe-polishers, shoe-fixers, sellers of a myriad of edible and non-edible goods instantly hone in on you, because they can plainly see that you are spending money here.  So my first trip is back to the hotel where I leave the jacket and put on my Western-bought clothes.

I am drawn back to Chuon Chuon Quan, where after 4 visits I finally try something else on their menu: Stir-fried chicken with chili pepper and lemon grass.

 It is good to get away from the re-heated restaurant chicken meals of you-know-where.  Food freshly prepared from fresh ingredients is such a joy. And it is one of the pleasures not easily found in the West anymore. None of us really knows how long the vegetables have been sitting around in their artfully arranged displays at our local IGA or Safeway!  As a guide on my October trip said: If you want clean pretty houses, go to Germany or Switzerland. If you want good food, come here!

 A final walk around the clothes shops around Hoan Kiem Lake does not provide any finds, neither shirts nor T-shirts. Ah well, there is a local market close to my hotel in Da Nang. I'm sure to find something there; in addition it'll cost less than half the price of items in Hanoi's tourist district!

Why is it that in so many general traffic pictures I later discover a child staring at me ???

This is around the time of Hanoi's rush hour at 5-pm-ish.  Not only does the traffic call traffic cops onto the intersection (there are traffic lights but no one pays attention to them),  but it also creates noticeable air pollution.  I say noticeable because the air was quite good all day and it is noticeable when it deteriorates due to higher traffic volume.  

At 7:30 pm my eye lids start becoming unbearably heavy. I set my alarm clock to be on the safe side and to make sure I don't miss my train.  This alarm clock is almost not able to get out of the deep sleep that II fall into.

Not really awake but more comatose,  I start walking to the train station at 9 pm

When I enter my cabin I am relieved. The term HARD sleeper does NOT refer to wooden blankets without bedding.  

What it refers to is how HARD it is to climb into the top berth. My first attempt fails miserably and I only get up there with my second attempt. And there are no other passengers there yet.  

too high for jumping !!!

This was supposed to be an epic train-journey encompassing sleep, but no, I wake up at 1:30 am to the sound of a prehistoric mastodon with bronchial issues. Oh no, it is just the guy right across from me snoring his heart out. Trying to sit up, I bang my head on the ceiling (AGAIN).  


A quick trip to enter my bladder and I'm faced with one of these monsters again.  Sphincter-clamping time!  I'm peeing here but nothing else! 

Despite the snoring concert, I quickly fall asleep again and finally wake up for good at 6 am. My compartment is EMPTY. Did I fart in my sleep? is my first thought.  The train hallway is empty, so the other people must have reached their destination and I slept through it all ;-)

Unfortunately they also took the cigarette lighter that had fallen out of my pocket and out of my bed earlier in the night.

Hours to go and no means to light a cigarette.







I roam the hallways looking for another smoker !

Here is an audience participation game:  Which one of the following two men is looking for a cigarette lighter and which one has found one and has smoked a cigarette:

I can already see a glimmer of light through the windows. At some point it is bright enough to  point a cell camera at the passing landscape.

When I was here last, the fields were bare after being harvested

All this green must be the New Rice of this year's harvest

Sometimes the train stops used at tiny unserved train station to let the opposing train pass

GREEN everywhere

The shapes of the hills constantly change ...

.... and I feel like like travelling through Tolkien's Middle Earth

The train finally reaches its destination at 7:40  am. That's over 9 hours train ride and I'm relived to get out.  I can't imagine taking this all the way from Ha Noi to Sai Gon!

What is the first thing I do in this city that I've never been in?  I buy 2 (TWO) cigarette lighters for CAD $1 ;-)

BACK IN THE SRoV (ICN to HAN)

By 5:20 am I am so EXCITED that I listen to THIS SONG again on YouTube. In about 7 hours I will be BACK IN THE SRoV !!!!

























But I'm still in Korea for now.  















My first outside cigarette break at 4 am woke the receptionist that was sleeping behind his reception desk in a thick down jacket. While the guest rooms are way too hot (heated floors with the thermostat set to 27 Celsius), the reception is noticeably cool; the doors to the MINUS 11 degrees outside don't seal very well. 






















A short  walk outside confirms both that its DARK & FREEZING (the cold quickly creeps in through various layers of clothing I'm wearing) and the presence of the beach close by (I can see lights reflected in water), but it's too dark to actually see a path to the beach, so I leave my beach walk for the return trip. 














One thing I notice is the ABSOLUTE SILENCE outside. I can't hear anything at all besides my own footsteps and breathing and quickly notice that hiss in my ears that comes from listening to non-existent extraneous sounds.  WOW.  I can't remember the last time I have been somewhere this quiet !!









The free hotel shuttle bus leaves at 6 am, which presents a tiny bit of a problem because the free hotel breakfast also starts at 6 am.  But apparently I will be able to grab some tiny bite at 5:50 am.

 It ends up being toast with butter and jam. But for the life of me I can't figure out how to open the jam. I have to ask. You fold the container about the middle and the jam squeezes out the top foil.  Good thing I asked.

Incheon is the busiest airport I've ever seen. And everything is shiny, new, and expensive.

 I'm hungry again but decide to pass a Dunkin Donuts and an Italian Bistro (WHY would I eat Italian food in South Korea?) and end up eating a spicy Hangover cure Ramen for 4500 Won. 































The cute waiter asks me whether I want it extra spicy, but I'm not familiar with how spicy regular Korean food is, so I leave it as regular spicy. And since my nose starts running as soon as i eat that probably was a good decision. This is fantastic breakfast food. 







I LIKE ! 


Until I splash some of the spicy brew into my eye, but the tears pass quickly ;-)

The Ramen place happens to be right across from my gate. A good omen.  An even better omen is that right next to the restaurant is a smoking lounge. 

Classy airport (hear that YVR? ;-)

Yes, it is EARLY morning

Good omens keep accumulating. The plane for the 4.5 hour flight to Hanoi is a 777 again and it happens to be half empty so I secure a 3 seater, giving me extra leg and elbow room and offering an opportunity to stretch out for a snooze!

My ride

That's them but NOT my pic

By now I know my way around Korean Air and I have consumed 6 baggie of peanuts before the other passengers even see their one baggie distributed with a napkin towards the beginning of the flight.   My hamster cheeks will be filled with handfuls of bags THRICE more before this flight ends ;-)  After such binges of peanut consumption I usually nod off for a while and I just realized that I passed over Shanghai during the last nod and am heading straight for Guangzhou.  




There actually is a funny side note to that peanut story. Not long a go a Korean Air executive flipped out on a plane because the crew server her nuts instead of a meal and she proceeded to fire one of the crew that very moment.  She didn't last long in her own job after that, but  Korean Air definitely has a NUTTY history. 


Even when one disregards the fact that they seem to have the Pepsi Cola logo on all their planes ;-)


Once you look at a map, it seems quite a reasonably route rational for flying from Seoul to Ha Noi.  Still, the fact that the plane flew right over Shanghai and I didn’t look out the window irks me a little.

There are no more Vietnam travel shows to watch, but I have time to write down the title of the one I watched yesterday:

Themed World Travels:  Xin Chao!   and the title of the first episode is:

Abundance of the indigo ocean; Da Nang (my eyes are filling with tears again; I can't wait to get back there ;-)  

Most of the rest of the flight is spent listening and rocking out to  Bach concertos, with a wide grin on my face planning the first things I will do when in Hanoi in a few hours. 

Sounds strange or a bit eccentric?                               Not at all!

These are the things that dreams are made of ;-)

Immigration at Noi Bai is a breeze as usual; I get my stamp that allows me to stay for 15 days without a visa.  After buying a carton of American smokes for US$18, I start the routine walk to the domestic terminal to catch the local bus.  





Fortunately it is chilly (16 degrees with a cold wind) so I walk fast to warm up, which allows me to wave at the bus driver who just closed the doors of the bus to depart. He opens them again, I pay my 9000 Dong, and embark on the 1 hour bus ride to Hanoi. 

The first thing I notice is the mandarin trees in the streets of suburbian Ha Noi.  They are big and they are everywhere.  Each carries between 50 and a gazillionripe mandarins.  The trees sit on sidewalks in groups of up to 50 when they are for sale or individually ride on the backs of scooters once they have found a new owner.  Taking pictures of rapidly moving objects through the dirty windows of a rapidly moving bus is not trivial, so I have to use a picture pilfered from the net:

Not my pic

Later I will find out that these things behave pretty much like a Christmas Tree. 



Visiting a receptionist I know in his hotel, I notice a giant mandarin tree in the lobby that even is decorated ;-)

After a much too short afternoon nap (bloody jet lag), I head to Chuong Chuong again for yummy dinner and again have to face the fact that I must be doing something wrong when pronouncing ruou trang, because Vietnamese just look at me strangely.  

However the problem seems to be less my verbal skills than that they don't expect a tourist to speak Vietnamese when ordering white wine ;-)

On only my second night in a non-PST time zone I surprise myself by hitting the feathers after 9 pm!

Hangug e osin geos-eul hwan-yeonghabnida (YVR to ICN)

If you think the title was bad, how about this one:

한국에 오신 것을 환영합니다

That's a lot of writing just to say "Welcome to Korea", which is where I am right now.

And NO, I am not in North Korea, but I'm in the Korea where i might just be committing a crime by publishing a smiling picture of Kim, because talking positively about North Korea is a crime in South Korea (think about that one for a second!). 

Now to get some musical accompaniment to the answer to the question of HOW DID I GET HERE?, you should click on the capitalized question.

It all starts in Vancouver. Cold and miserable, Overflowing garbage out of GREEN garbage cans in front of a drab grey background. That must be what they mayor means when he says he wants Vancouver to be the GREENest city on the planet.  To me that sounds like Richard Nixon insisting that he's an honest man.  Preposterous!  You can't even empty your garbage cans, Vancouver!


Skytrain is next.  It is actually rather comical to watch transit passengers 'tapping' in and out at the wide open fare gates just because message  boards tell them to.  The gate is already open.  If you tap in and out, a fare will be deducted from the balance on your card. If they want their fare, they should close the gates.




The line-up at the Korean Air counter is surprisingly non-existent.  Strange. I've been standing in line for at least 20 to 30 minutes at Air Canada, Lufthansa, and Cathay Pacific counters, but never have I encountered the lack of a line-up.  The Korean Air check in clerk looks at my passport while saying "Is this a passport?"  No comment.


Then she doesn't want to give me a boarding pass because she doesn't believe me that I don't need a visa to enter Vietnam.  She calls her supervisor who in turn calls her supervisor.  He doesn't believe me either but rather checks some obscure airlines-internal visa requirements page.  Then it takes me 10 minutes to convince him that even though I will be staying more than the allowed 15 days I will be able to obtain an extension to that while in Vietnam, and under ABSOLUTELY NO circumstances will the Vietnamese FINE Korean Air for delivering a passenger that is in violation of visa rules 2 weeks after delivering him.   The whole world seems to live in FEAR.  

Wind Mobile Data does not work at Vancouver Airport.  WTF?  3^rd world issues again? Actually, Cambodia qualifies as 3^rd world and I NEVER had WiFi problems there.    What is worse: service actually has been deteriorating here over the last 3 months, it never was this bad before.

In addition, since I learned that the Canadian Spy agency used the Vancouver Airport Free Wifi to secretly install passenger movement tracking software on devices, I’m not using that one anymore.  Get Stuffed, you paranoid control freaks!

I’m having a glass of wine at Koho, the fancier restaurant in YVR airport. I’m not eating here anymore since I got food poisoning from their food. But the wine should be safe ;-)  From the next table I hear the waitress asking a customer “Do you need change?”  What kind of question is that?  If the customer is not offering a ‘no change’ or ‘that’s fine’ do your bloody job and bring some change.

I have a 12 hour flight ahead of me, but that’s a small price to pay to get out of here ;-)

my ride

Unfortunately my hopes of an empty plane are crushed by a Boeing 777 packed to the rafters.  The thing I notice instantly is Korean Air’s chair spacing. Even in Sardine Class my knees are physically unable to touch any part of the seat in front of me, even if the guy in front leans his chair back to sleeping position.

The next surprise comes when food is served.  Not only does my tray contain metal cutlery and a glass glass instead of a plastic one, it also contains very yummy food.  Unlike the strange food choice offered by Air Canada “Beef, Chicken, or Pasta?” (as if Pasta was the new Pork), Korean Air asks whether I want beef, chicken, or fish.  Congratulations Korean Air. Now Air Canada has to hide even deeper in the darkness culinary atrocities.

After watching the new Spectre Bond and re-watching Star Wars  Episode IV (The very original one), I decide to check out the TV – travel offerings in the console and am I glad I did.

What I find is a 4 part series (35 minutes each) produced by Korean television about travel in Vietnam. And the first episode just happens to be about Da Nang, apparently also known as the Pearl of Vietnam, where I spent 4 fabulous days in December and where I am heading right now!   











It’s a great show actually looking into the lives of regular people instead of the villas of the filthy rich and I learn a lot I didn’t even guess at in December.

After watching, 35 minutes about Da Nang and Hoi An both of which I’ve been to, 35 minutes about Saigon and the Mekong delta, both still terra incognita to me, I am in the third episode andsee pictures of Ha Noi and Ha Long Bay and my eyes just don’t manage to dry any more between the up-welling tears of joyous recognition. 

Just before  landing I  get a view against the sunset that confirms that the area  around Seoul looks very much like south-western BC, something I already got a glimpse of when watching the funniest Monster movie I have ever seen, the South Korean movie The Host, filmed in Seoul

Looking at the above picture the next day, I realize that I probably could see North Korea and the DMZ from this vantage point, since the border is only about 40 kms away from Incheon airport!

Immigration and Customs at Incheon are bearable. A computerized device reads my fingerprints,  takes my picture, and then says "Thank you", to which I answer "you're welcome", which actually produces a smile on the face of the immigration officer.

The first thing I notice about South Korea is that it is -3 degrees Celsius outside and cooling off rapidly.   People wear scarfs and padded jackets and I'm glad I didn't board the plane in sandals this time. People smoke their cigarettes in fish-tanks erected on the side walk (Strangest thing!!!).And people RUN a lot.  People RUN for the taxis, the organizers distributing people to the taxis RUN, and I feel hectic after 2 minutes of watching all this running back and forth.  The taxi driver does not say a single word on the entire trip and drives as if his wife is having a baby. He races with 90 km/h past 60 km/h speed limit signs and police cars. This is not how I envisioned the country where all the Hyundais and Kias come from

The taxi to the hotel costs me roughly CAD$ 15 and the first question the receptionist asks when I get to the hotel is "Why didn't you take our shuttle?".    On the way to my room I notice that the hotel doesn't have a 4th floor!  

I step out into the very quiet and rural streetscape and see a 7/11 sign. Good. I need to buy cigarettes.  Another culture shock. 7/11 does not sell cigarettes. Neither does the gas station. I am directed to a tiny mom&pop shop that does. 4500 Won for this pack; ufortunately it is menthol, as I find out later ;-( .I already got Japanese-style chocolate and 2 spicy noodle soup cups at 7/11 and I'm set for the night.




And here is the reason why I chose this flight route. I fall asleep 8 pm local time, which is 3 am Vancouver time. It's a good mix between the old sleeping rhythm and the new one.