Still at home...on a Friday ... 2 days until the wedding ....
4:00
A panic attack about the mole on my chest...... am I dying ?
5:45 Nhat shows up.....
I call "Chao buoi Sang" to a figure walking on the beach, thinking it is Fabian......NO....it's one of the gay guys......and he's NOT traveling with his boyfriend but with his straight cousin..... and he asks me about the 'tribal music' he heard coming from my house last night ..... LOL.....I write it on a piece of paper: TINARIWEN
Phap had replied.....a company function...... men wearing kimonos and waving umbrellas.....I'm glad he's busy....but he doesn't look happy......he says "I wish you were here"......
Nhat, Fabian, The Monkey.....My terrace is a ZOO......Villa Kunterbunt indeed ...How did I get here ?
Saturday
My drives the Monkey and me to Tuy Hoa. ....there is a wedding to attend...... and I'm glad I have the Monkey as company.....
Sunday.....
15:30 We waited as long as possible to put on these uncomfortable clothes .....SOCKS?...SHOES?.. WTF?
16:00 The Monkey orders an electro-taxi......
I was right about the location.....we hesitate a bit to go in ..... to miss the bla bla and the waiting...
 |
| the parents usually don't look too happy |
...but Tam, co Tam's husband spots us and waves us over......
Uncle 9's wife spots me and wants to take a picture with me..
... Thanh is there....but his eyes are a lot less slit-like today.....OH....it's the younger brother......and everybody of the family knows my NAME.....
 |
| Aunt 8 (mother of the bride) giving me directions |
we drop our envelope with 1 trieu...... and there is a Viet guy with a mustache waving at me from 50 meters away......
I grin and put up 7 fingers (it's Uncle 7) and he gives me the thumbs up...... I sit with the Monkey at an outside table....better not draw attention...he's looking behind me and says oh oh.....it's Thanh (the one with the slit-like eyes)...and Thanh sits next to me AGAIN.......the table slowly fills up....mostly younger guys and one old guy right across from me...seems a bit grumpy and doesn't look me in the eye.
I scan the wedding guests......somewhere in the crowd of 200 people is Phap's father....
About an hour later, I give up.....I ask Thanh (the older one).....you are 5; I know Binh (aunt 10), uncle 9, aunt 8, uncle 7.......but WHO is uncle 6 ?....... and he points at the old-looking guy RIGHT ACROSS from me....
....This can NOT be a coincidence...there are 20 tables here......he must he must have chosen this seat on purpose... with only 4 white guys at the wedding.....he knew EXACTLY WHO I was......the diddler of his son...... he got to study me for one whole hour without me having a clue....... Meet Phap's FATHER.......3 years younger than me....
...and the WHOLE time he does NOT clink glasses with me or meet my eye....... WOW
As for the wedding...... as usual, Matthias selbstbeweihräuchert (sings his own high praise)......both the bride and the FAT husband are stoopid..... but harmless....both Christians....they found each other in Church.... Good luck to them !!
We eat.... the many courses......and it's good food.....Zala catered !
18:45...almost out of cigarettes.......time to leave.......we have to empty our glasses first (I'm learning).....and the Monkey tells me that I HAVE TO say good bye to all the IMPORTANT people......I ask "Who are the IMPORTANT PEOPLE?"........He says "The FAMILY"...... SHIT...that INCLUDES Phap's father...... how can I say good bye to him if he won't look me in the eye.....
OH SCREW IT.... Thanh (older) is first and I walk up to the man who sat across me all evening and shake his hand......HOLY SHIT....he even smiles..... Aunt 8 and uncle 8 (more forced drinking), cousin 8, Uncle 9, Uncle 7 (more drinking).....they point at Thanh (the younger) and I say "Toi khong quen !" Aunt 8 asks me "Mathias?" and grins when I shake my head in horror.
Then on the way out the wife of Uncle 9...... and they all know my name......it's family.....it's fucking freaky !!!!
19:15
The Monkey drank a lot of beer and just passes out....
I am too wired by the evening's events.......and try to sleep at 21:30.... not until 23:00
3:30
AWAKE.......
I drink and smoke while the Monkey snores....
6:00 Monkey's alarm clock goes off again.....I flip out and hit him on the feet "Turn it off" he doesn't wake up.....I put the phone in the fridge.....
7:00
Monkey is finally awake......My texts that he'll only be here at 8:30 instead of the promised 8:00..... BLECH.....
Then we pick up relatives of his before Song Cau......lovely..... no more lying-down space in the back and I'm still paying full price......I am overly enthused <sarcasm> .....But even the greatest annoyance eventually ENDS....
10:00 I am HOME ;-)
Nhat, Fabian, Monkey, Fabian, Nhat.... Fabian is starting to seriously go on my nerves.... consumption-oriented but without a clue.....and MANIC..... He needs more therapy, me thinks....
15:00
Fabian takes a taxi to Quy Nhon to buy WEED.....idiot
I walk to the Other Store.....4 cases of wine delivered, 2 cartons of cigs, Coke, Peach tea, and bubble water, and 6 eggs......2.7 trieu....
17:00
The THIRD wiener with cheese and wasabi of the day.....but that is all I'm eating.....
Nhau a little with Choi......but I have neck pain/headache.....so I leave soon.....
nap
20:00
There it is ... first he said next weekend at my house....then he changed it to next weekend in Tuy Hoa...and here is the message...in TWO weeks in Tuy Hoa.....
I reply: "In TWO weeks??? Phap fails again :-("
I'm SICK of it......
Looking at the bright side......I have enough food.....I can hang out at my house and enjoy time with Fabian and the Monkey next weekend.......Never mind about IDIOT Phap.....there is Thanh...... actually there are THREE Thanhs ;-)
21:00
No response from Phap.....I message Thanh VH....(he replies RIGHT AWAY)...I refuse to be Number 6.....son, wife, mother, father, work......and then MAYBE I..... too often now.....
One month until my visa expires.......maybe this will be the right time to go to Germany ....refill my prescription.....meet some NICE relatives...grab some cash.....and ride a bicycle.....and stay away from IDIOTS ...
Drink more and try to pass out....
