Off to Adolf's Fatherland.... IST-SZG

NO, I'm not going to Germany.  I'm going to that other country where Adolf actually was born !

Early this morning, I had a thought.  What if the Turks actually had conquered Vienna when they besieged it in 1683.  There would be no Klimt or Hundertwasser, but there certainly would not have been an Adolf Hitler.   The history of Europe might have been much more exciting, civilized, and beautiful !  
There might not have been 2 World Wars and the US, who have wreaked havoc on anyone from Central America, Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq, and Syria, might have never formed and even if, stayed a back-water colony, something they still are as evidenced by the president they recently elected.

These are musing while I am LEAVING Istanbul, Pearl of the Ottoman Empire.

OF COURSE, I am NOT taking a taxi.  WHY?   The Metro station is 300 meters from my hotel!

Turkish airline has automatic check in booths now AND they have something I have NEVER seen before.  AUTOMATIC self-luggage deposit.  You place your luggage on the belt, scan your boarding pass, the machine spits out your luggage tag, and a helpful assistant puts the tag on the luggage (Only because most people wouldn't be able to put it the right way around, LOL).  The entire check in process takes 4 MINUTES.  Sometimes progress done right can be an AMAZING thing ;-)

Atatu"rk is a fabulous airport.  But I can't wait for the new Istanbul airport to open on October 29th, which should be even more amazing. 

Built on time in 4 years total (30 workers died in the rush) it will be one of the world's biggest airport and will take the scepter from Frankfurt & London as a connecting hub between the Americas or Europe & Asia, Arabia, and Africa.

Since I'll be taking a train from Salzburg to Germany (i.e. NO further security check), I splurge and buy smell-stuff.  OMG, I haven't had any smell stuff in a long time, LOL.   Jean Paul Gaultier's Le Male.   I will smell GOOD.  Tesekku"r Zulema !!!!

I manage to get rid of ALL my Turkish coins when I pay for the Rose ;-)

Time for a smoke on the outside patio (OMG, Turkey is so civilized in some aspects ;-), and off to find my gate ....

Of course, it has to be the furthest gate but one.  Atatu"rk has 712 gates, mine is 711.  Good thing Grandma doesn't have to do the advertised 15 minute walk to get there ....

Boarding time is 15:30 and the gate sign is flashing GO TO GATE, but at 16:15 the gate is still closed. A bit annoying since the scheduled departure time is 16:20 and I only have 1.5 hours after the scheduled landing in Salzburg before my stupid Guesthouse closes its check-in.  In plain words:  If my plane is delayed by more than 1.5 hours, I will be homeless tonight.

The Cattle People have been standing in line in front of the check-in counter for 45 minutes now.

 I sat down on the ground for a while (I was the only one) but then decided that I might as well waste some time with a glass of wine and a muffin.  The fridge is FILLED with small red wine bottles but not a single white one is in sight.  Boy Bartender behind the bar saves the day:  Would you like a GLASS of wine? he asks and after my vigorous nod proceeds to uncork a regular-size bottle of white and fills my glass to the brim.  I get to ogle him while I drink ;-)
A MUCH better way of waiting for the friggin gate to open and to forget about the prospect of imminent homelessness in Adolf's birth country.

First the crammed old Turkish Airlines plane coming from Hanoi and now THIS endless delay.  I think I'm DONE flying Turkish Airlines for a long while !  Even if they have the best commercial for an airline I've ever seen ;-)  

I witness more evidence for my theory that this planet doesn't have a chance because people are just TOO FUCKING STUPID.  A man has taken the effort of separating his garbage in his hands, carrying a stack of paper in one hand and plastic in the other.  He throws the paper in the Plastic/Glass/Metal bin.   He actually comes back 10 minutes later, again with paper in one hand and trash in the other. This time, he throws the stack of paper into the Other Waste bin.  
 The only bin he hasn't thrown paper in is the Waste Paper bin.  Oh NO, he is NOT an individual rare case.  DO GO to an airport and OBSERVE and you will find out that this is the rule and not the exception.   Actually, thinking about this for a bit I become worried when they're talking about Artificial Intelligence. Does that mean that they're trying to create RETARDED computers ???

At 16:33, the gate display still insists that the plane will only be 20 minutes late, LOL.

17:30
We're now scheduled to leave at 17:40 and that is not quite feasible, isn't it.  Their information management is ATROCIOUS.  NEVER again Turkish Airlines if I can avoid it.  They're worse with their passengers than Air Canada, and THAT is saying a lot ! 

I have a second glass of wine.  A young African kid desperately asks the bartender for water but doesn't have any money. Sure he could drink water in the washroom but that's probably not safe where he's from, so he asks for water at the bar. NOPE.  No money, no water is the reply.  How could I NOT pay for the kid's water?

At least my new cell phone roams here; I'm able to call the hotel to tell them there is a problem.  They're not happy about it but they tell me to call again when I leave or arrive.  Let's hope this friggin plane doesn't take too much longer !

17:50  The gate is OPEN.
And we finally learn the reason for this staggered delay.  
NO, the plane was NOT late coming in.  
NO, there were NO mechanical problems with the plane.
What else could it be, you ask?
They couldn't get a crew together !

FINALLY, a bus arrives. We all get on, it drives out onto the tarmac, circles a plane, does a U-turn, and drives back to the gate. WTF?

Turkish Airlines has the WORST touch-screens I have ever encountered in a plane

Turkish Food

CHEAP headphones !

IST-SZG 2.5 hours

somewhere over I can't remember where ....

Salzburg.  I intend to walk through the Nothing to Declare passage with my EXTRA 5 packs of smokes in my bag, when a customs officer steps towards me.

Do you have anything in your luggage you should declare? he asks me.
NO, I say
In particular with respect to CIGARETTES, he adds.
I look him straight into the eyes and say NO.
Ok then, bye ...
Am I getting too good at lying  ?

20:15
I finally get to my hotel.... Luckily, the hotel manager deposited my key with the restaurant owner.

My junior suite is HUGE. 

Is THAT a bidet?  I am AFRAID of bidets !!!! lol

So why didn't they put a writing/computer work desk in it?



But at least the place has a balcony with a view ;-)

The view from the balcony

I'm beat.  DEAD tired.  I don't even go out to buy wine. Nope, not today.  I want to sleep and barely have the energy to plug in my laptop.  Even downloading the pics can wait until tomorrow !

21:00